James Stevenson

From some dude named "Luke" on Fakebook ( I laughed out loud on this one): "Fuck my life , Before anyone starts, no, she’s not been neglected, abandoned or rescued from a shipwreck in the North Atlantic. The daft little bastard has been out in the garden, in the rain. She’s got an entire house to sit in. Warm beds, soft blankets, central heating, food on demand and two fully grown idiots who wait on her like she’s the fucking Queen of England. But no. Apparently today was the perfect day to go outside and audition for the role of a drowned Victorian orphan. And rather than dry herself off somewhere sensible, she’s dragged her soaking wet carcass upstairs and collapsed on the bedding like she’s just walked 400 miles through enemy territory to deliver an urgent message from the front. Look at her!! She looks like somebody’s tried to clean a chimney with a fucking toilet brush. And the expression on her face!!! Like the humans are the bastards responsible for the weather!! I’m half expecting her to cough up a tiny bit of seawater and whisper, “Tell my story.” £50 says she’ll be demanding Dreamies within the hour. Has anybody else got a cat with absolutely no survival instincts, or have we somehow adopted the world’s first waterproofing failure with whiskers?" Just had to share. I laughed so hard!