jared gelman retweeted
“me when i pull the door handle and it shatters” being the first words out of your mouth when this happens is killing me bro. it is insane what social media has done to the way that we speak
jared gelman retweeted
PATTERNS OUT NOW! 🟥 open.spotify.com/track/2sAFe…
jared gelman retweeted
I texted my children that we got the puppy they’ve been begging me for and sent them a link with pictures. 🐶When they clicked on the link, it took them to a webpage that said YOU’RE GROUNDED. They’ll be spending the weekend retaking our family’s cybersecurity training course.
jared gelman retweeted
My debut album American Heroine out November 6th 𓆩♡𓆪 presave in my bio babydoll
jared gelman retweeted
Trevor Noah on why guys always need "the third thing" to hang out.
@Trevornoah
jared gelman retweeted
the slayyyter debacle made me remember wendy reacting to camila cabello's old tweets.. "she's coming for blacks, she's coming for the asians. jews... you are not a part of this but i know you're going through a lot."
End of an era.... Also, I will never forget when people on Twitter thought "Via Getty" was the name of a Capitol Rioter cuz they confused it with a photo credit </3
jared gelman retweeted
shout out to the lady at the end for one of the most flawless 30 second impromptu improvs i’ve ever seen







































