JasonLastname (@JasonLastname) header
JasonLastname (@JasonLastname) profile picture

JasonLastname

@JasonLastname

Imagine a caveman running on a treadmill, completely confused and crying hysterically.

 VA
jasonlastname.com
Joined July 2012
  • Tweets11.7K
  • Following744
  • Followers19.2K
301Media
Photo by JasonLastname (@JasonLastname)Photo by JasonLastname (@JasonLastname)Photo by JasonLastname (@JasonLastname)Photo by JasonLastname (@JasonLastname)Photo by JasonLastname (@JasonLastname)Photo by JasonLastname (@JasonLastname)Photo by JasonLastname (@JasonLastname)Photo by JasonLastname (@JasonLastname)Photo by JasonLastname (@JasonLastname)Photo by JasonLastname (@JasonLastname)
JasonLastname retweeted
Commanders on Real (@WSHOnReal) profile picture
Commanders on Real
@WSHOnRealMar 22
#2 Jayden Daniels throws a dot to OBJ
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JasonLastname retweeted
chuuch (@ch000ch) profile picture
chuuch@ch000ch22 Dec 2013
doc said my liver is failing but i think it's just not applying itself
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Original tweet by JasonLastName @JasonLastname
Image from WholesomeMemes (@WholesomeMeme)
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When this all collapses let’s promise not to eat people. Everyone pinky swear. Put in your delicious pinkies.
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[pulls up in a new car] EX: nice car asshole. ME: umm, it’s called a muffler.
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JasonLastname retweeted
Little Greenis (@DurtMcHurtt) profile picture
Little Greenis@DurtMcHurtt4 Apr 2023
Heavens to Betsy Betsy to Heavens Heavens BACK to Betsy Betsy-GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL
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NBC9 reporting live from my nightmares
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JasonLastname retweeted
Rob Cee (@TheRobCee) profile picture
Rob Cee@TheRobCee4 Mar 2023
Sometimes I mix it up by having tribulations without trials.
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JasonLastname retweeted
Mike Primavera (@primawesome) profile picture
Mike Primavera@primawesome2 Dec 2022
Elmo 2024. Kindness. Thoughtfulness. Tickle down economics.
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It's late autumn nights like these when I sit back and wonder what Sanjaya from American Idol season 6 is up to.
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When my wife complains about toilet seats being up I take a dump with both of them down.
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JasonLastname retweeted
Ivsy (@Ivsy01) profile picture
Ivsy@Ivsy0116 Nov 2022
Got out and stretched at a gas station and bought some snacks so I would think I was on a road trip.
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JasonLastname retweeted
Mowgli (@Holy_Mowgli) profile picture
Mowgli@Holy_Mowgli11 Oct 2018
colonel mustard's first name is dijonathan
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JasonLastname retweeted
Little Greenis (@DurtMcHurtt) profile picture
Little Greenis@DurtMcHurtt4 Nov 2022
So broke I could only afford a meat likers pizza.
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“Coward” should really mean “to move in the direction of a cow”
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GUY: can you do me a solid ME [with diarrhea]: no chance
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JasonLastname retweeted
Toby 🇵🇸 (@tobestewart) profile picture
Toby 🇵🇸@tobestewart24 Aug 2022
I just don’t go to knife fights
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[first day working at KFC] CUSTOMER: Do you have any wet-naps? ME [a frequent bedwetter]: ALL THE TIME.
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JasonLastname retweeted
Luke Mones (@LukeMones) profile picture
Luke Mones@LukeMones14 Jun 2020
i love exposed brick. sure i see bricks outside all the time, but once they're inside? that’s when things really change for me
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I am going to get Clarence Thomas pregnant
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