DJ, entrepreneur, reformed Biology major, medical school drop-out.
San Francisco
Joined June 2018
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Jimmy Kimmel is a fucking legend, and national treasure.
Jimmy Kimmel responded directly to Melania Trump during his opening monologue on Monday night after the First Lady called for his firing: "I agree that hateful and violent rhetoric is something we should reject. I do. And I think a great place to start to dial that back would be to have a conversation with your husband about it."
"You know how sometimes you wake up in the morning and the First Lady puts out a statement demanding you be fired from your job? We've all been there, right? What a day.
"As you know, they had to cancel the White House Correspondents' Dinner in Washington on Saturday night after a man with multiple guns and knives crashed the party and may have shot a Secret Service officer. Fortunately, the guy was wearing a bulletproof vest and is okay. He was charged today. No one was hurt, thank goodness. A lot of people were shaken up on a night that is supposed to be light-hearted.
"The White House Correspondents' Dinner, if you don't know, it used to be an annual event before Trump showed up, but every year they'd have a comedian roast the room. The President, the Vice President, members of the press—everybody got roasted. I did it once; I hosted it. It was a lot of fun.
"But this year they said, 'No comedian. We're bringing in a mentalist instead.' So on Thursday, three days before the event, in order to keep that cherished tradition alive, I did my own version of the correspondents' dinner on my show. I put on a tuxedo. We pretended we had an audience of luminaries. We used old footage of the Trumps, of Pete Hegseth, J.D. Vance, Kid Rock, Vanilla Ice, all the members of his cabinet, and we made it seem like they were all together in a room. We had a little roast.
"Again, this was Thursday, and there was no big reaction to it until this morning when I greeted the day facing yet another Twitter vomit storm, and a call to fire me from our First Lady, Melania Trump, saying I should be fired because of a joke I made, again, five nights ago.
"It was a pretend roast. I said, 'Our First Lady, Melania, is here. Look at her. So beautiful. Mrs. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow.' Which obviously was a joke about their age difference and the look of joy we see on her face every time they're together. It was a very light roast joke about the fact that he's almost 80 and she's younger than I am. It was not, by any stretch of the definition, a call to assassination, and they know that. I've been very vocal for many years speaking out against gun violence in particular.
"But I understand that the First Lady had a stressful experience over the weekend, and probably every weekend is pretty stressful in that house. And also, I agree that hateful and violent rhetoric is something we should reject. I do. And I think a great place to start to dial that back would be to have a conversation with your husband about it... because, by the way, I also should point out: Donald Trump is allowed to say whatever he wants to say, as are you, and as am I, as are all of us. Because under the First Amendment, we have as Americans a right to free speech."
Colombo retweeted
The impossible is happening:
#MAGA is finding out.
The promises were lies.
The contradictions were built in.
#Trump promised peace, prosperity, security and strength. They got wars, higher costs, weaker alliances and a bigger government.
But the contradictions were there from the start.
You can't promise lower prices and lower taxes while imposing tariffs that drive up costs & taxes.
You can't promise peace while abandoning allies, undermining #NATO and siding with #Russia.
And you can't promise freedom while giving a president the power to go after anyone he dislikes.
Pick one. You can't have it both ways.
It was never going to work.
#Midterms2026 #VoteBlueToSaveAmerica
THIS.
Lt. Gen. Brett Sylvia - the Pentagon's top military planner... This is a substantial loss of experience.
An abrupt dismissal. No public explanation. No named successor - while further strikes on Iran are being considered. Under Hegseth, that pattern is becoming disturbingly familiar.
What ends up happening is the military only tells the bosses what they already want to hear. That's how you start planning wars on wishful thinking instead of the actual facts.
Colombo retweeted
Lt. Gen. Brett Sylvia - the Pentagon's top military planner... This is a substantial loss of experience.
An abrupt dismissal. No public explanation. No named successor - while further strikes on Iran are being considered. Under Hegseth, that pattern is becoming disturbingly familiar.
What ends up happening is the military only tells the bosses what they already want to hear. That's how you start planning wars on wishful thinking instead of the actual facts.
Colombo retweeted
Another general gone. No reason given. No replacement named.
Hegseth just fired the Pentagon's chief war planner… while the White House weighs more strikes on Iran.
Think about that. The man who plans the war is OUT. The men who want the war are IN.
That's not strength. That's a blindfold. And…buckle up.
Colombo retweeted
BREAKING: US National Guard units in all 50 states are now quietly "mobilizing for next week's elections," per Ken Klippenstein.
The mission covers direct observation of ballot drop boxes and polling places, plus federal cybersecurity support.
It is the first time in US history the National Guard is being deployed at this scale ahead of elections.
Hegseth ordered military spy agencies to "mobilize every asset … to defend our election" so that "every lawful voter can cast their ballot free from foreign intimidation, coercion, or fear."
Colombo retweeted
If the trucks stopped rolling tomorrow, the shelves at your grocery store would start thinning out in a day or two. Your tap water would start running dry in two to four weeks, because the chemicals that make it safe to drink show up on a truck every week or two.
Hold onto that second number. It's the one that makes all this 30-day talk make sense, and it's why the Pentagon is planning for 90.
Here's what's actually going on. Dan Bongino told his podcast listeners Monday to get 30 days of food, water and batteries, and he said the warnings came from the UK. Britain's new Be Ready campaign, which launched October 22, really asks for 72 hours. That works out to 9 liters of water per person plus canned food, cash and a wind-up radio.
The 90 is the Pentagon. Under a program called FORTRESS, every major military base in the lower 48 is supposed to be able to run on its own for at least 90 days, with its own power, fuel and water. Bongino brought it up himself. The Pentagon is building Fortress America, he said, so you build Fortress My House.
So what's everyone preparing for? Nobody's naming a date. But Britain's defence secretary wrote that his country has a little over 1,000 days to be ready to fight, and the Pentagon's planners are working off the assumption that a big war takes out the civilian power grid and breaks global supply chains.
That's where the trucking numbers come back in. The American Trucking Associations ran a version of this scenario years ago. The grocery store goes first because stores keep almost nothing in the back room. The water goes later because treatment plants only get chemical deliveries every 7 to 14 days. A 30-day stash basically gets your family past the point where the tap gets sketchy.
Now do the water math. FEMA says plan on a gallon per person per day. A family of four for 30 days needs 120 gallons, which weighs about 1,000 pounds. Picture half a ton of water stacked in a one-bedroom apartment. The 90-day version the bases are planning for comes to a ton and a half.
That's a big part of why governments keep asking for 72 hours. Britain reportedly held off on a campaign like this because officials worried it would scare people, and three days of supplies fits in a hall closet.
Nobody's building your apartment a microgrid, so whatever cushion you want past 3 days, you're the one hauling it up the stairs.
Colombo retweeted
They're still pretending an illiterate escort married to a pedophile brokered a ceasefire. Give me a fucking break. If the lies didn't work for Donald, they certainly aren't going to work for Melania
Colombo retweeted
Terrified of losing the midterm elections, the Trump administration has resorted to threatening election officials in California, suing Alaska if the result doesn’t turn out how they wish, sending DHS agents to the homes of Latino citizens, and dozens of other acts of voter suppression and intimidation.
The best remedy: Vote early. Vote by Mail. Vote in Person. Vote on Election Day. But vote. Don’t let them take your voice away.
Colombo retweeted
For decades Republicans — like huckster doomsday preachers — have been promising that:
“The caliphate” is coming.
Sharia law is coming.
White Replacement is coming.
When do the people persuaded by this stuff figure out they’re being had?
This.
Q: Are you the one who’s going to turn Texas blue?
@JamesTalarico: I’m not interested in turning Texas blue. I wanna win this seat so that I can fight for all 31 million Texans — whether they’re Democrats, independents, or Republicans.
My party talks about turning Texas blue a lot. Republicans talk about keeping Texas red. I think the best color for Texas is purple.
When you have a purple state and competitive elections, it forces every politician in both parties to stay on their toes. My hope in this race is that we can end 30 years of one-party rule and get competitive elections back in Texas so politicians are actually solving problems.
Colombo retweeted
Q: Are you the one who’s going to turn Texas blue?
@JamesTalarico: I’m not interested in turning Texas blue. I wanna win this seat so that I can fight for all 31 million Texans — whether they’re Democrats, independents, or Republicans.
My party talks about turning Texas blue a lot. Republicans talk about keeping Texas red. I think the best color for Texas is purple.
When you have a purple state and competitive elections, it forces every politician in both parties to stay on their toes. My hope in this race is that we can end 30 years of one-party rule and get competitive elections back in Texas so politicians are actually solving problems.
