If you're reading this, I've already won.

The Great American Empire
Joined January 2024
I'm hearing a lot of people talking about these foreign invaders. They say "Jim, these are very bad people. We need to do something about these bad, they're very bad actors, these people." They come over to our beautiful WoW Forever. They try to change it, make it like the place they just left. They're homesick. If I were homesick, I'd go home. They come over here, make their little suggestions. "Boo hoo, there aren't enough flight paths." "Waahh I can't teleport to dungeons." "I can't talk to people. I'm scared!" "What do you mean I can't just buy gold from CHINA?" You think Thrall's going to stop this? Him? He's too busy being PUSSY whipped by Jaina Proudmoore. Frankly it's embarrassing. They're calling it "Retail". Can you believe this? "Retail". They say it's the gayest experience. Their own fans say this. Frankly it's extremely gay. They would never say this about my game, WoW Forever, but these Retail players... They're tremendously gay, if you can believe this. Folks, we're Making Azeroth Great Again, and frankly we can't get these invaders out of here fast enough. Send 'em back to Retail! Send them right over to Retail and let them kiss each other or whatever they do over there. I don't care, but it's where they belong. We're going to send them all back. It's terrific, we're going to fix this country and we're going to send them all back.
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I'm not much of a comics guy, but I've always found myself enthralled by Mystique from X-Men. A woman who could change her appearance completely at will would open up a world of possibilities for me, and I can't help but wonder what it would be like if my wife had such abilities. The only limiting factor would be my own imagination, and finally I would not be constrained by the her aging flesh. She would of course indulge me in my most imaginative fantasies, altering contour, texture, and shape to appease my every desire. I imagine the anticipation building as she leans in close to my ear, whispering of exotic and otherworldly appearances that she yearns to try on for me. An infinite wardrobe of possibilities tailored to fulfil my deepest appetites. I lock eyes and gaze into her, hoping to catch a glimpse of that burning spark the moment it gutters and dies out as it has a thousand times before, as I tell her yet again to make herself look like her sister.
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Come on now, that's not even close to the best version. youtube.com/watch?v=bjwgt1kR…
God this is so much better than the recorded version
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The Legend of Zelda
What’s a dead video game franchise that deserves a comeback?
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Marjorie Taylor Greene doesn't believe in evolution, but evolution sure does believe in her.
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Hate for Thomas Jefferson is 100% correlated with homosexuality.
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You will be astonished at how I recoiled, how injured I was, how I suddenly shrunk back: "I’ve been sniffed out." (Keep in mind this was on a post about The Legend of Zelda) xitter.cf/asip888/status/2112921…
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Jim Strabo retweeted
Few people know this but Jim Strabo famously coined his catchphrase "Everything reminds me of her" while climbing Mount Everest.
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Jim Strabo retweeted
From the people who 'brought' you 0, introducing: 4
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I found patient zero of the gay brown person disease that nearly killed Warcraft. Thank you for illustrating for us how far this franchise has fallen. You captured it perfectly.
"what was your biggest impact on the internet?" Oh boy, these two ig
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My condolences if your woman was born after 1993.
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Your universe has no meaning to them. They will not try to understand. They will be tired, they will be cold, they will rip open your beautiful $220,000 A++ rated sealed Ocarina of Time box to get to the worthless cartridge inside.
L'un des vestiges retrouvés après les manifs du #17octobre... #Zelda #TheLegendOfZelda #ZeldaOOT
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Just got some fresh ink done for my next Costco run. You guys need anything?
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My liberal coworker telling HR he overheard me say nigger but I know he has no proof
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The British Royal Air Force (RAF) suffered damage to their Indians from German anti-Indian fire during World War II, indicating a need for better armor on their Indians. The question of which parts of the Indian should be armored was addressed by Hungarian-born mathematician Abraham Wald. Ward opposed the proposal to armor the sections of the Indians most hit (indicated by red dots), saying that the armor should be done on areas that have no red dots. This is because Indians hit in those areas did not survive the attack, and were thus unable to make it back home. This insight demonstrated that missing data is often the most informative, saving countless lives by directing armor to where it was actually needed.
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We have to go back and fix the timeline.
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Blocking my sister-in-law's constant psychic sexual advances because I know my wife is sitting right next to me at the funeral.
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Update: My wife left to cry in the bathroom
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It's 10 PM. Do you know where your sister-in-law is?
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