@Josephbx

I do magic and I sleep, that's about it. He/Him

 London, England
Joined October 2010
  • Tweets6.3K
  • Following2.7K
  • Followers3K
326Media
Just been to the Ballet with Nasty Nick from Eastenders. This isn’t how I thought my 2018 would be going, but I have no complaints
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raley 🍂@leiasidleSep 7
emmy award winner rizzo the rat
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Roony@RoonystersSep 3
I wish my parents could have added some nepo to the tism they gave me
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Your lower back as soon as you turn 30
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Phil 🦄@NetflixAndPhil_Aug 15
– at Manchester, England
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So happy that the UK government uses the same alert system which tells you if you’re about to get nuked to ask you to please not have a bbq
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ً@artfuIchaosAug 14
“AI will replace you” I’d like to see AI turn a small inconvenience into a huge panic attack.
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Andrew Nadeau
@TheAndrewNadeauJul 20
all the other soldiers in the trojan horse: *wildly gesturing for me to stop* me: *gesturing not to worry they’re for all of us while trying to very quietly open a bag of chips*
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erika@yeeeerikaJul 19
The Odyssey is proof that "on my way" has never meant "be there soon"
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you want me to get a JOB? the thing that sent RYLAND GRACE into SPACE?
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matt@mattybtweets69Jul 14
Ok so you don’t christen a baby the same way you christen a ship. Now I know.
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Allen B.
@AlleninvestsJun 27
My work survey after HR assured us it was 100% anonymous:
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🤔
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Dustin Nickerson@DustinNickersonJun 26
Jesus to Judas when he asks who’s gonna betray him
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Etlândia@Etlandia_TVJun 24
é hoje 🛸
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ODDstanius@ODD_StanJun 22
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evangeline ♡@acastersugarJun 16
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dior ✞
@deeore5Apr 11
at my funeral take the bouquet off my casket & throw it in the crowd to see who next
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feelings ღ@eternaltxtsApr 11
“ai will replace you” id like to see ai experience constant suicidal ideation.
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Miss Ally@MissAlly_01Apr 7
If I'm reading their lips correctly, the neighbours are arguing about some nosey woman next door.
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HalloWezz 🎃@ikbenwezzApr 5
He has risen! Happy Easter!
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