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HumbleB Competition
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#spreadlovelikepollen – at Gosport, England
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A policeman knocked on my door last night.
'Where were you between 4 and 6?', he demanded.
'Primary school', I replied.
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Took my goldfish to the chip shop and asked 'do you sell fish cakes?'
'Yes' they replied.
Great because it's his birthday.
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GF 'Love you babe xxx'
Me 'Love you too'
GF 'Would mean a lot if you started putting x's at the end of your text xxx'
Me 'OK Amy, Jane, Liz'
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Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on some chewing gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
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Saw Vincent van Gogh in a pub and asked if he wanted a drink.
He said "No thanks, I've got one 'ere!"
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A red and a blue ship have just collided in the Caribbean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
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This year I'm releasing a Christmas record called Duvet Know it's Christmas?
It's a cover.
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Brutal honesty from @Danny_Willett in the post @RyderCupEurope presser. #RyderCup #TeamEurope #GoUSA
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Got your excuses for not going to work ready for tomorrow? nitter.gq/EventsInDestiny/status…
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Bradley Wiggins talks us through the music that inspires him! #Mod
amp.twimg.com/v/e914869f-47e…
