The personal is political.
Joined February 2011
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J retweeted
This is called "August" in Europe
At Meta you get to take "re-charge" every five years. It's effectively a 1 month sabbatical. Just took mine (after 6+ years). Best perk ever.
I was trying to think the last time I have gone 1 month without a job and I think it was summer after 6th grade. It's been some 25+ years.
I cannot overstate how good it felt.
Anyways, back to building! Tons of cool stuff in the pipeline.
J retweeted
after you establish a paper trail of trying to do the right thing, as a woman, you have to be prepared to do the other thing.
i'm going to tell you what my great grandmothers told us: the law is not coming. you can dig a ditch or be buried in one.
A woman was accused of 'cop-shopping' by police because she'd been to 2 different police stations to report her ex-husband for stalking and threatening her.
They told Kelly she needed to ‘cool off’ and to 'give him a break’.
He stabbed her and burned her to death just days later.
share.google/Iw2BLHMAeeLDOZA…
J retweeted
Because men drain the life out of you, and a breakup/divorce frees women from the emotional labor, the domestic load, the caretaking and the constant managing of a grown man’s needs. Nothing holds a woman back like a man.
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J retweeted
Am I just a monster? It's been 4 years since I became a father and I'm beginning to fear for my soul. The truth is I just don't like being around kids for very long. Historically, this is not uncommon among fathers, but today it feels almost illegal. It's causing me a lot of confusion and anguish.
The ideal amount of time I would like to spend playing with my kids is probably about 70-140 minutes a week—roughly ten minutes each day, maybe 2x/day, taking breaks from work. My feelings of love toward them are perfectly strong, but if I have to watch them or entertain them for more than about 10 minutes my blood starts to boil. I just want to be working, or accomplishing something. I try to be grateful, but it doesn't work.
It's 9 AM this morning, Saturday, January 3. It's a sunny, warm day here in Austin, and my four-year-old son is begging me to play catch in the street. I was drinking coffee, still waking up, so I didn’t really feel like it, but at this age his desire to play is insatiable. He begged and begged, so I conceded, and with a smile. I have no problem being a kind and loving father, the problem is only that I do not enjoy it. It's not that I'm trying to maximize my personal pleasure; it just seems wrong that I experience so little delight when my dad friends all claim to experience so much.
It was beautiful. We live on a picturesque, tree-lined block. I am even relatively relaxed from the holiday rest. Playing catch with your son is supposed to be an iconic, peak experience. Yet for every single minute, on the inside, I just don't want to be there. I want to be drinking my coffee in peace. Then I feel guilty and absurdly ungrateful, and ashamed, when we're done. I know that when he is a teenager, I'll long to have these days back. I have all of this perspective rationally, and I've been very patient and steadfast trying to digest it, but nothing fixes me emotionally.
Am I a terrible person? Or is my feeling within a certain range of historically normal and it's modern parenting norms that are off? Whether it's my fault or not, I don't even care, I just want to figure this out. Something is wrong and I no longer have the excuse of being new to this.
J retweeted
Landlords like to act as if they’re simply receiving compensation for a service when the reality is that they’re hoarding a basic need and profiting off of functional extortion - giving you an option between paying them or living on the street and pretending they’re benevolent.
J retweeted
It still surprises me how often I see friends get wrecked by things that couldn’t be easier for me, and me get wrecked by things they can’t even imagine has wreckability. I think people are really different and if you try to play someone other than you you autolose
J retweeted
1 in every 3 people killed by a stranger is killed by a police officer. So you might think the biggest threat to your life is some random shooter or gang. But the one organized group that is most likely to shoot and kill you is the police, and it’s not even close.
J retweeted
This one nitter.gq/daizeemedia/status/177…
“You can spend your life trying to be the cool girl, and feminism will be right there for you when you figure out they hate you anyway.”
J retweeted
Men can hug each other. “Male loneliness crisis” is code for “lack of easy access to intimacy with women.” This isn’t a crisis. Please let the widespread catastrophic harm committed against women by men which society is designed to push under the rug “shift your reality”
I heard something on a podcast that shifted my reality:
Some men go months without being hugged.
The guest said: “Men can’t solve loneliness, touch starvation, or isolation on their own. Unless everyone who’s listening to this goes out and hugs a man, no one will.”
The second I heard this, I kid you not, I decided to hug as many people as possible at the weekly event I host.
Especially men I feel subtle resistance towards when I meet them for the first time. You know that flickering moment when your gut whispers “I don’t want to hug this person” and you shake their hand instead? Or avoid contact entirely? I push past that moment of resistance and try to greet them like a good friend. Because if I have such an open heart and spirit, and even I don’t want to hug this person… who will?
I’ll never know if I’m making a difference with this small, seconds-long gesture. But I can rest easier knowing that the men in my space don’t go months without a hug, which seriously made me tear up when I first heard it.
We talk a lot about the loneliness crisis — so, what if we all decide to play a role in making small, seconds-long gestures towards a kinder and more connected world?
It really can be as simple as hugging people more freely. 🤍
