Kyle Lobner, City Slicker and Video Game Player

"Look, we brought you hear for a reason," she began nervously. "We need to talk." "Your obsession with outpizzaing the Hut is going to get someone hurt."

I'm starting to worry about this trend where every year we get a new, meaner version of Uno. It's a trend I doubt we'll be able to reverse.

I only use Peacock once a month, but every time I'm reminded that the WWE Network>Peacock move was the biggest technological step backwards I've ever experienced.

"When one door closes, another one opens," I told the garage door repair man. "Can you get here fast? I need to go to work."

Dear @duolingo, You're right, I should be working on my Spanish. But the absolute last thing I need is guilt over it.

If you're the kind of voter who changed their mind on a candidate this week because they ordered the wrong food at a State Fair or ate pizza with a fork or didn't enjoy beer or whatever, what are you even doing? There's too much at stake to get hung up on piddly crap like this.

Nothing is making me reconsider watching #SummerSlam quite like a Kid Rock opening.

Backstage, somewhere: "Wow, #MoneyInTheBank in London is great! Maybe we should have a brand that runs shows over here all the time!" "Uhhh...we did."

A late spring connundrum: I'd like to buy plants for my garden, but I know that if I wait I'll get a better dill.

My favorite shows on Peacock: 1) The one that's just the loading screen sitting there until it burns into your screen. 2) The one that ignores what you asked for and just starts playing an episode of New Girl for no apparent reason. Are there any others? I have never seen them.

This morning at Easter brunch while most of you were discussing what you're thankful for or whatever @MrsFrostyMug and I planted the seeds for a Star Wars spinoff series based on the keepers that cry when the Rancor dies in Return of the Jedi. I think we win.

OH: "I have a pocket full of butterscotch candies and ZERO will to live!"

Just heard maybe the most demotivating thing I've ever heard at the end of a workout class, as a spin instructor told an exhausted room "Your fitness journey is going to take a lot longer than you think, so just enjoy it." Y'know what? Nevermind. I'll just stay fat.

I don't know why it never clicked before, but realizing R.L. Stine is a real person I can interact with online blew my mind today. @RL_Stine, thank you so much for all your contributions to my childhood and your part in making me the exceedingly weird person I've been ever since

Reminder to take your melatonin tonight so you won't wake up if you're visited by temporal ghosts.

It's that special week where that restaurant that can never find staff takes a break from complaining about it so they can let you know they're open regular hours during a blizzard and on Christmas.

Anyone who applies for a credit card because it's the "official credit card of the WWE" gets 50 points off their credit score, minimum.

Last night when I couldn't sleep I started counting characters i would want to be playable in a Lego TMNT game. I never did get to sleep, but I'm still thinking of more.

"I just want something that will scream 'Wow!' the moment you walk through the front door."