Visionary Sage 🇰🇪🇨🇦

Did I watch a flying wheelbarrow? Uganda, what was that? @UgandaMediaCent

The El Ninõ rains that is about to fall in Nairobi is doing pressure ups in Nairobi skies. The signs are not good! I had to escape from my office to get home before it all begins. @MeteoKenya @kenyasgossips

A rabbi dies and finds himself waiting in line to enter Heaven. The guy ahead of him has a shaved head, gold chains, leather jacket, and shades. The angel Gabriel asks the bald guy, “Name and occupation?” “Rafi Eskenazy, taxi driver.” Gabriel checks his list and smiles. “Shalom aleichem! Silk robe, gold staff. Welcome to Heaven!” Next comes the rabbi. “Name and occupation?” The rabbi draws himself up with great dignity and says, “Avraham Baruch Cohen, Senior Rabbi of Beth Jacob Synagogue for 37 years.” Gabriel checks his list and nods, “Yup. Cotton robe, wooden staff. Keep it moving please.” “Hold it,” says Rabbi Cohen, “the man before me was a taxi driver. Why does he get special attention?” “Up here, it’s all about results,” says Gabriel. “When you sermonized, people slept. When he drove, people prayed.” Bingo! 😂😂😂

So now that the El Ninõ hype and fantasy has become a farce, and a joke to farmers countrywide @MeteoKenya have invented another tongue twisting lie? If El Ninõ is not about enhanced rains, then what is it? At least we know La Nina which is enhanced drought is the opposite of El Ninõ

Nikumbyaa!

Now that the much hyped El Ninō October-December short rains have failed to materialize, what mitigation advice does @MeteoKenya has to Kenyan Farmers and especially South Eastern lowlands?

Genius!

What is this cock and bull story?

Controversial doomsday cult preacher Paul Mackenzie has been sentenced to 200 years in prison over the Shakahola massacre, in which 191 people, including 190 children, died after extreme religious fasting. Cults have no place in present day Kenya.

How is that practical? Or does it mean even after his death in prison, the authorities will keep on detaining his body/bones for 200 years? @jsckenya @ahmednasirlaw senior counsel please extrapolate this?

Tbt! Jack is a poor, humble onion farmer barely scraping by on his small plot of land. One day he learns about an exotic country far away where no one has ever seen an onion, so Sam decides to go for broke. He loads up his entire onion crop into a wagon and sets off on a journey. He travels for three weeks across mountains, deserts and forests. Finally, Sam comes to the country where no one has ever seen an onion and he asks to meet the king. He shows the king his onions and fries up a sliced onion for him. The king absolutely loves it and orders that a feast be held with a wide variety of onion dishes. The people of the country go crazy over the onions. They declare onion their national food and start planting onion fields. To show their gratitude, the king gives Sam a wagon full of gold and sends him back home. Sam returns to his village with his newfound wealth and tells everybody about his wonderful faraway land where onions are worth more than gold. Sam's neighbor, Fred, is a poor, humble garlic farmer. He thinks, if these people like onions so much, then they're going to love my garlic. So Fred loads his entire garlic crop into a wagon and travels for three weeks across mountains, deserts and forests. He comes to the onion country and asks to meet the king. Fred shows the king his garlic and fries some garlic in a pan for him. The king goes nuts and orders a garlic feast. The people are ecstatic, raving about this delicious garlic. They love the garlic so much that they give Fred something worth even more than a wagon full of gold... A wagon full of onions because to them Onions were more valuable than gold.😂😂

The onset of the current El Niño-enhanced “short rains” in Kenya has been uneven and significantly delayed across most of the country, despite early pockets of rainfall. Expected Timing vs. Reality The Kenya Meteorological Service Authority (KMSA) had forecast that El Niño-enhanced rains would begin in the second to third week of October 2026 . Some areas in western Kenya and the Coast did record an early onset as early as September, and other regions saw rain in the first week of October . However, the anticipated gradual spread across the rest of the country failed to materialise. Why the Delay? KMSA attributed the prolonged dry spell to two main disruptors: A low-pressure system over the northern Indian Ocean temporarily blocked the southward progression of the Intertropical Convergence Zone (ITCZ), the weather system that typically drives seasonal rainfall . Tropical Cyclone Agueda pulled rain-bearing clouds away from Kenya, leaving most of the country sunny and dry . Where Rains Have Started By late October, onset had occurred as expected in areas including Mandera, Marsabit, Nyeri and Meru, while central and eastern Kenya remained largely dry . Forecasters indicated that once Cyclone Agueda dissipated, the rainfall onset would resume from Saturday onwards, spreading from the Lake Victoria basin toward the Coast, Eastern, and Nairobi regions . In short, the current El Niño rains began earlier than forecast in isolated western and coastal areas, but their nationwide onset was pushed back by oceanic and cyclonic interference, leaving many regions still awaiting the main seasonal rains as of late October 2026. All is not lost because the onset of heavy rains in Ùkambanī begins this Saturday 7th November 2026 @TheNairobiTimez

They are already there! Welcome to the Islamisation of the great USA. Trump's MAGA was an illusion after all @realDonaldTrump

There are 2 ways of spreading light and hope, 1. To be the candle that illuminates it or 2. To be the mirror that reflects it. @BarackObama

Kenya ranks among most corrupt lower-middle-income countries, losing billions of dollars in revenue annually, new World Bank report shows, cites several procurement scandals. Let that sink! @EACCKenya @jsckenya @DavidNdii

This is not funny!