Daddy Deej

Working to better myself for the love of my life every single day. I love you, @OneToughQueen

Thick thighs save lives 😍

How unfortunate

🙄🙄🙄

Still don’t hate me as much as I hate myself, love.

Hey. Nobody hates me more than I hate myself. Your mom might be a close second, but we don’t talk about that. 🤷‍♂️

If my selfies could be made into a numerical variation chart, it’d be a fucking straight line. I don’t care. It’s a good angle. Eat my ass.

And realistically, you’ll never know what month it is based off the pictures, because I am only capable of taking one selfie. Occasionally I’m more sweaty but that’s the only variation.

I’m going to start a calendar of my gym selfies. Call it, “if you didn’t take a selfie, you didn’t go.” #NewProfilePic

Bring chocolate for the Mrs. and several gallons of hard liquor for me.