Lockne

If there's one thing cancer has given me (well, except for losing a lot of weight) it is a constantly growing clarity regarding what is good for me and what is bad. I spent most of my life as a pleaser and a pacifier, validating myself in a reflection of other people's fulfilled desires. That is no longer the case. It is bad for me, mentally and physically, to argue about the pros and cons of genocide. I refuse to dignify any discussion about the minimal caloric intake required to keep a starving Palestinian alive. I get winded quickly just listening to jeremaiads about the suffering of Israelis negating the suffering of the Palestinians. More than anything, nowadays, I blow a gasket when hearing about the "inevitable outbreaks of antisemitism" that have nothing to do with Israel's "necessary" crimes. Perhaps it is the understanding that comes with illness, the awareness of the village every human being needs to become fully human. Perhaps it is the life force pulsing in the vein. In any case, my bit of wisdom is to see your commitment to the good not just as an expression of rage. Think of your hard work as another aspect of an attempt to lead a good, meaningful life. There is no escaping anger and bitterness. But the presence of the good here and in general is a sight for my sore eyes. It is a force to behold. Embrace it and practice looking back as little as possible. In the words of the old western adage, fuck the genocidaires and the horses they rode in on.