Mr Beagle (@MR_Beagle) profile picture

Mr Beagle

@MR_Beagle

I hit the self destruct button a long time ago - I just had no idea it would take so damn long.

 Bristol, UK
Joined February 2009
  • Tweets5.2K
  • Following351
  • Followers342
99Media
Photo by Mr Beagle (@MR_Beagle)Photo by Mr Beagle (@MR_Beagle)Photo by Mr Beagle (@MR_Beagle)Photo by Mr Beagle (@MR_Beagle)Photo by Mr Beagle (@MR_Beagle)Photo by Mr Beagle (@MR_Beagle)Photo by Mr Beagle (@MR_Beagle)Photo by Mr Beagle (@MR_Beagle)Photo by Mr Beagle (@MR_Beagle)
I’d keep goldfish but they’re a pain in the arse. I mean I should probably stop stuffing goldfish up my arse. Although they are bottom feeders right?
1
Daughter just told me she can smell my face from across the room, and that it smells like onion. #selfesteem
3
This tree clearly had a hard night.
Image from Mr Beagle (@MR_Beagle)
Replace the first syllable of your last name with the word ‘pig’ and you’ve got your pig name.
For every roasted carrot there’s a chunk of roasted sweet potato giving side eye.
Describe this tweet for the visually impaired.
Time to #StopBolsonaro -- call on the EU to ban the imports from illegally deforested lands in the #Amazon. Join now to save Brazil's rainforests & RT fb.avaaz.org/campaign/en/ama…
2
2
This is the world we live in, and this is why it's completely fucked. videoblocks.com/video/young-…

Celebrating Team Success In Modern Office 4k Stock Footage SBV-322577086 - Storyblocks

Stock video of Celebrating team success in modern office 4k. From our library of lifestyle, people, and places and landmarks royalty-free footage. Video asset id SBV-322577086. Get unlimited downlo...

storyblocks.com
1
The ‘sign up’ form always totally eclipses the ‘log in’ button - a metaphor for the failure of capitalism and why future civilisation will have to live in bubbles on mars.
Funny that for all we’ve achieved as a nation we can’t quite bring ourselves to stop dumping shit and piss onto our railway lines #2020
Laughing at the thought of explaining to my deceased grandmother why it’s a faux pas to like your own tweets.
1
Reading aldous huxley is great for my ADD - the nagging urge to flit between screen and page is satisfied by my constant need to look up words in the bloody dictionary.
Still saving for a ram upgrade on my spectrum 48k. #playingTheLongGame
1
Surely bioluminescent jelly fish could be controlled with an app.
1
Hello Twitter btw, been on instagram for a while, thought I’d switch things up a bit. Feels like I’ve part exchanged a motorcycle for an excess of recreational outrage.
For a moment there I thought a BFG’esque giant had snagged his plaid undies making an otherwise stealthy escape from my abode, but no - I have poor taste in curtains.
Celebrating November 5th by watching YouTube vids of fireworks and emulating the smell of sulphur with overcooked eggs. #genuinelyBetterThanRealFireworks
Nothing improves flavour like an extensively branded cup.
“With extensively branded cups, dispensers and promotional materials, customers cannot fail to be won over by the irresistible taste of our Hot Nuts. “
1
“We believe that Hot Nuts represent great value for money. Since the Hot Nut Warmer is supplied free on loan, you only pay for the nuts.”
Load more