Megan Goetz (@MegGoetzMoney) header
Megan Goetz (@MegGoetzMoney) profile picture

Megan Goetz

@MegGoetzMoney

She/Her. Contributes to @mcsweeneys @reductress, and more. Host of Real Chills podcast and Their Stories. Went through a unicorn phase in college.

 Philadelphia, PA
Joined March 2012
  • Tweets3.2K
  • Following784
  • Followers791
That’s the music that Kelce needed to hear to activate his haircut. Watch how he balls out in the second half
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Image from Community Notes & Violations (@CNviolations)
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Reductress (@Reductress) profile picture
Reductress@Reductress5 Nov 2023
Wow! This Woman's First Words After Waking Up From a Coma Were 'Five More Minutes': ow.ly/9aUe50HeIia
Image from Reductress (@Reductress)
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the most "UNHAND ME" opossum hiss ever hissed
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I am positive I don’t want to do that.
Arnold Schwarzenegger (@Schwarzenegger) profile pictureArnold Schwarzenegger
@Schwarzenegger18 Oct 2023
Oscar, we are going to work on adding more positivity to your life.
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Max Barth (@HeIsMaxBarth) profile picture
Max Barth@HeIsMaxBarth20 Aug 2023
Comedy Night at Heritage on North 2nd Street in Philly! 9/12 9pm. Great lineup! Tickets: eventbrite.com/e/comedy-nigh… with @BlakeWexler @hannahtrav @Barack_Obiscuit Charles Steele and @MegGoetzMoney !
Image from Max Barth (@HeIsMaxBarth)
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📢BIG SHOW TONIGHT!📢 Wise Crackers @MoheganPA is proud to bring in this show! Come out and laugh this weekend with Chris Roach, Brendan Donegan, and Megan Geotz. Doors: 8 Show: 9 @RoachComic @B_Donegan @MegGoetzMoney TIX $25ea bit.ly/45e0kjY or call 570-788-8451
Image from Wise Crackers (@WiseCrackersCC)
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Reductress (@Reductress) profile picture
Reductress@Reductress17 Aug 2023
REPORT: Freshly Cleaned Apartment Still Looks Like Shit: ow.ly/UehQ50PA6Lc
Image from Reductress (@Reductress)
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horny for whistleblowers #UFOHearings #ufotwitter
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trish (@ultragloss) profile picture
trish@ultragloss18 Jul 2023
how it feels to be tipsy from rosé
Image from trish (@ultragloss)
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2000s (@PopCulture2000s) profile picture
2000s
@PopCulture2000s4 Jul 2023
Image from 2000s (@PopCulture2000s)
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Here (In your Arms) [First Dance] - OUT NOW Happy Anniversary bb ❤️ open.spotify.com/album/18fO4…
Listen to Here (In Your Arms) [First Dance] - Single by Hellogoodbye | Spotify

Listen to Here (In Your Arms) [First Dance] - Single by Hellogoodbye | Spotify

Hellogoodbye · single · 2023 · 1 songs

open.spotify.com
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rizz king this, rizz king that, we need to talk about how often some of you are rizz king your lives drunk driving
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Image from non aesthetic things (@PicturesFoIder)
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Noah ✵ (@noahdonotcare) profile picture
Noah ✵
@noahdonotcare13 May 2023
I SAID TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET HOME SAFE
Image from Noah ✵ (@noahdonotcare)
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Reductress (@Reductress) profile picture
Reductress@Reductress2 May 2023
'Sorry The House Is a Mess,' Says Friend Bragging About Having a House: ow.ly/XWxJ50O6WQH
Image from Reductress (@Reductress)
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Image from Comedy Bang Bang Out of Context (@CBBTV_NoContext)
Image from Comedy Bang Bang Out of Context (@CBBTV_NoContext)
Image from Comedy Bang Bang Out of Context (@CBBTV_NoContext)
Image from Comedy Bang Bang Out of Context (@CBBTV_NoContext)
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paywalling this, extremely funny
Image from Lindsay B (@theonlylindsayb)
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📣It's time to laugh!📣 This weekend we have a hilarious show with Anthony DeVito, Courtney Maginnis, and Megan Goetz! Right at Wise Crackers Comedy Club inside @MoheganPA! @AnthonyDeVito_ @courtmaginnis @MegGoetzMoney TIX $25ea: bit.ly/3ZPjVnv or call 570-788-8451
Image from Wise Crackers (@WiseCrackersCC)
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Did you know if you hold an ermine up to your ear, you can hear what it’s like to be attacked by an ermine?
An ermine, with summer brown coat, stands upright at Katmai National Park & Preserve.

ALT An ermine, with summer brown coat, stands upright at Katmai National Park & Preserve.

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