Ⓜ️indveil🦋🎀 retweeted
How to win in life:
1 work hard
2 complain less
3 listen more
4 try, learn, grow
5 don't let people tell you it cant be done
6 make no excuses
Ⓜ️indveil🦋🎀 retweeted
DOCTOR VS PATIENT PART 2: WIFE DON CATCH AM 😂😂😂
*Doctor:* Okoro, lie down make I give you injection.
*Patient:* Doctor, small small o. E dey pain me...
_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_
*Doctor:* Who be that?
*Wife:* (from outside) NA ME! MRS OKORO! OPEN THIS DOOR!
*Patient:* Jesus! Doctor, hide me! Hide me for cupboard!
*Doctor:* Okoro, you be 95kg, which cupboard go fit you? And why you dey fear? You tell me say you get toilet infection na.
*Wife:* OKORO! I DEY HEAR YOUR VOICE! OPEN DOOR OR I GO BREAK AM!
*Doctor:* Madam, calm down, na hospital...
*Wife:* Doctor, no tell me calm down! I dey outside since, I hear everything! TOILET SEAT? AKARA WOMAN? ROBB? OKORO, YOU PUT ROBB FOR YOUR _THAT THING_ BECAUSE OF AKARA WOMAN?!
🧵 continue reading👇👇
DOCTOR VS PATIENT: THE SECRET DISEASE*
*Doctor:* Good afternoon, Mr. Okoro. What brought you here?
*Patient:* Doctor, e get one thing wey dey worry me. E dey pepper me.
*Doctor:* Pepper you where?
*Patient:* Doctor, for... for that place.
*Doctor:* Which place? Chest? Stomach? Head?
*Patient:* Doctor, you know na... _that_ place. The place wey man dey use do man thing.
*Doctor:* Okoro, say it. This is hospital, not church. Say _penis_.
*Patient:* Doctor abeg no shout am. My wife dey outside dey hear.
*Doctor:* She is outside, not inside. Talk. When did it start?
*Patient:* E start on Monday.
*Doctor:* What happened on Sunday?
*Patient:* Nothing happened on Sunday.
*Doctor:* Okoro, look at me. I am a doctor, not your mother-in-law. Nothing you tell me will leave this room. What happened on Sunday?
*Patient:* Doctor, I go church on Sunday.
*Doctor:* After church?
*Patient:* I come back house. I chop rice.
*Doctor:* After rice?
*Patient:* I sleep.
A thread 🧵… continue reading 👇👇👇
Ⓜ️indveil🦋🎀 retweeted
Judge: Ms. Williams, you are asking this court to order your former boyfriend to pay $1,500 every month in child support?
Jessica: Yes, Your Honor. He was part of my life when I was pregnant, and he promised to take care of me and my baby.
David: Your Honor, that's a lie! We broke up before she even became pregnant.
Judge: Mr. David, let her finish. Ms. Williams, why do you believe he should be financially responsible for this child?
Jessica: Because he was the man I was with. He knew I wanted a family, and he abandoned me when I needed him most.
David: Abandoned you? We broke up eight months before you gave birth! I wasn't even in a relationship with you when you got pregnant.
Jessica: But you were the only man I trusted. I thought you would still stand by me.
Judge: Mr. David, are you the biological father of this child?
David: No, Your Honor. I have never claimed to be the father. I even offered to take a DNA test to settle this matter.
Jessica: I don't see why a DNA test is necessary. He knows what we had together.
David: What we had together has nothing to do with another man's child!
Judge: Ms. Williams, do you know who the biological father is?
Jessica: That's none of this court's business.
Judge: It becomes this court's business when you are demanding child support from someone you claim is responsible.
David: Your Honor, I have evidence that she knew I wasn't the father. I have messages from her admitting that another man got her pregnant.
Jessica: Those messages were private! You cannot use them against me!
Judge: The court will review the evidence.
(The judge takes a moment to read the printed messages.)
Judge: Ms. Williams, this message says, "I know the baby isn't yours, but I need you to help me raise him because his real father has refused to take responsibility." Did you write this?
Jessica: I was desperate. I didn't have anyone to help me.
David: So you knew I wasn't the father, but you still brought me to court to demand $1,500 every month?
Jessica: You have a good job. You can afford it. And the child shouldn't suffer just because we broke up.
David: Having a good job doesn't make me responsible for a child I didn't father!
Judge: Order! This is a courtroom, not a place for personal insults.
Jessica: Your Honor, I carried this child for nine months. I sacrificed everything. Why should I struggle alone when someone who once promised to love me can help?
David: Because I am not the child's father! You cannot turn our past relationship into a financial obligation.
(The courtroom goes silent.)
Judge: Based on the evidence presented, this court has no established basis to order Mr. David to pay child support simply because he was once in a relationship with the mother. The court will dismiss this claim, subject to any further legally relevant evidence.
Jessica: So you're just going to let him walk away?
David: I never walked away from my child. This simply isn't my child!
Judge: The child's biological father is the person whose responsibility should be properly established. This case is dismisse.
If a woman knowingly takes her ex-boyfriend to court for child support even though she knows he isn't the biological father, should he still help financially because he once loved her, or should he walk away completely?
Ⓜ️indveil🦋🎀 retweeted
“Davido said it's time to take over the game. 30BG worldwide! 🌍🐐”
Davido x PUBG Mobile this their collaboration 😮💨🔥
Ⓜ️indveil🦋🎀 retweeted
Madonna: I thought you said you’ll drop on your knees.
Fireboy: Oh yeah, I did.
Madonna: I mean when I’m there.
Fireboy: in front of you.
Madonna: Yeah, you said on your knees.
Fireboy: Yeah, Yeah.
Madonna: Well, I’m not gonna drop on my knees.
Fireboy: Oh, I will.
Madonna: I know it’s me that you want.😂





























