Mitten Squad

I posted another update on my channel. It’s too long to post as a tweet so here’s a screenshot of it. TLDR: I’m not dead and will eventually upload again, when I’m ready.

Little bit of a life update: My drinking has gotten so out of control that I had to go to the emergency room again yesterday. I got some bad news there. Turns out i've got pancreatitis. The frequent vomiting sucks but the pain is indescribable and nothing seems to make it stop.

I just saw a spider crawl into my backpack. My wallet is in there. I’m going to die trying to get that wallet.

Fork update: I’m a synth now

I’m pleased to say that today I ascended from Gamer to Hero. I have successfully reunited a father with the son he never wanted. Remember this day because once I inevitably undo the lid on that jar it’ll be like the Hell scenes in Event Horizon but with cheese.

I'm sorry you had to find out this way

Kirby Air Ride 2 not getting announced is proof there is no God

This has to be the worst idea for anything anyone has ever had

This is the best day of my life

When I moved into this apartment almost 2 years ago I had 8 forks. Today I have no forks. What the hell happened to all my forks

I don’t consider myself to be a prepper or conspiracy theorist, but I do keep a bug out bag by my front door in case calamity strikes and I have to flee for my life. Don’t worry, I didn’t overdo it. I only packed the essentials: 5 Wiis and 5 copies of Wii Sports

So I got a container that has a bunch of middle and high school stuff. Found a notebook from 8th grade. Turns out my ego has always been massive. You can’t see it but my jaw is not on the floor.

Go fuck yourself

WHICH BITCH IS FINALLY OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AFTER 4 INCREDIBLY LONG DAYS? it's me, it was a tough question I know

Nothing better than spending Thanksgiving at the hospital after being forced into arm/leg restraints and put into a fucking diaper against your will. Im okay all things considered though. They said I blew a .351 BAC and could’ve gone into a coma or even died. So that’s fun.

Certain things always seem impossible until they happen, which is why I made a silenced pipe shotgun spit unholy fire like it was the angel Gabriel's long lost brother. Can You Beat Fallout 4 With The Impossible Gun? youtu.be/RVE0Ntz1mTg via @YouTube

The day has come. He is risen. The sequel to the Fork Barbarian, an individual I lovingly named the Nuclear Fork Barbarian, is on sale for 17 more days. He's got a big ass fork in one hand, a mini nuke in the other, and unbridled enthusiasm. makeship.com/products/nuclea…

This video just got both 18+ age restriction and planted with 'Limited Ads'. I already cut out the part about babies' skulls getting punched in and turned into the grand canyon. IDK what else @TeamYouTube wants from me. Maybe a video about a toddler who murders is a no-go today.

Well well well. Where have you been? Me? I've been a busy little beaver. Emphasis on little, not beaver. Though playing through Fallout 3 as a beaver would be a fun idea if I gave a dam. Can You Beat Fallout 3 As The Pint Sized Slasher? youtu.be/KAToa71svAY via @YouTube

What if God said: You can have the longest Mitten Squad challenge run video to date. But Paul said: It's in a 9 year old game that almost nobody has requested a video about. Can You Beat Tomb Raider With Only A Climbing Axe? youtu.be/ylrD-bQ0Tfw via @YouTube