@MrBonMot

Laughing at the chaos before it laughs back. Tweets contain sarcasm & exaggeration. Comedy, observations, and Unnecessary honesty. Don't take it seriously!

 Newcastle Upon Tyne, England
blogger.com/blog/posts/4748896342126235482?pli=1
Joined September 2013
  • Tweets156K
  • Following6.8K
  • Followers12.2K
7.8KMedia
Sometimes I drink Vodka neat, other time I drink it with my Shirt hanging out .
1
6
130
I don’t think Suzi over the road likes her husband very much. When he had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance!
9
258
There is nothing as sad as a bloke with a Two Gallon Stomach & A Two pint pocket..
9
258
Another Night In ! It's getting to the stage,where I'm Practillaly Living Here !
4
216
A man walks into a bakery and asks for a book on being in the wrong places!
1
8
285
Further cutbacks announced by the BBC have affected Dr. Who as the new Dalek is revealed!
9
10
1
85
767
An American once stoped me in the middle of London & asked me If I Knew where Buckingham Palace was ? I Thanked him & told him I did …
6
1
35
817
Convince your wife she's on Masterchef by giving her an hour to cook your tea then telling her exactly why you don't like it.
4
5
48
600
Save money this Christmas by simply buying your kids an Easter egg each and telling them they overslept.
3
1
36
528
I assume the person who coined the phrase Hear no evil, see no evil and speak no evil Didn't work for a tabloid newspaper!?
11
283
Q: How many Sid James impersonators does it take to change a light bulb? A: Phwoar!
1
11
307
The only time I've ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once!
12
304
If you're feeling exhausted I've found the perfect phone for you.
1
8
212
My boyfriend has been working out and has really bulked up. He’s gone very hirsute around his privates, though. Must be taking those hairybolic steroids at the gym #LunchPun
2
1
16
473
Jim Corbridge retweeted
Steven Richards@PantheraSteven8h
The Dracula story definitely needs freshening up - time for a revamp. #lunchpun
2
10
248
My wife laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta. #LunchPun
4
1
73
699
I Did some stand up last night for the SAS, Tough crowd!
4
216
I'm in the car in a duck pond, safe to say I think I've failed my driving test again!
7
1
23
503
I went to the library & told the lady I wanted a book by Shakespeare. She looked at me with contempt and said "Which one?" I said "William"
9
4
97
876
Maths problems: the only place where someone can buy twenty cauliflowers and no one wonders why!?
2
2
17
359
Load more