Lois Lane

Now I’m stronger than Nescafé or whatever Britney Spears says.

I guess Dolly was needed somewhere else more than Tennessee. 😢😢

When you call customer service the first words out of their mouth shouldn’t be “what the fuck”. 🤔🤔

Driving my truck into a parkade freaks me the fuck out.

Someone tried to return an opened (not used thank god!) pregnancy test kit. They even demanded to speak to the manager. 🫡🫡🤔🤔 #Cheap

I saw a picture of Ben Shapiro recently. I couldn’t figure out what was “off” about it. Then I realized, it looks like his eyebrows are above the wrong eyes.

I just came across my mother’s recipe for cabbage rolls. Rice, ground beef rolled in cooked cabbage leaves, topped with tomato soup. Did you notice any spices? Me neither. #RecipeOfTheDay #BlandAF

People that have their keyboard clicks on in public (especially in a quiet environment) are the type of people I’d like to throat punch.

I’m in my homelessness era. 😶😶

When you’re asked to come into work on your day off n you tell them that you made plans. Even though my plans are literally to sit on the couch all day, I still have plans!!

How is your day going? This absolutely took the dang wind outta my sails. #Lesigh #TomorrowWillBeBetter

I watched the lady across from me pack up her car yesterday. She even took the cat. All I could think of was did she leave his sweater. #KeithUrban #YoullThinkOfMe 🤣🤣

Devon came over to chat with me. He stood there doing this move 🤪🤪 Made me smile.

The Hallmark rep was putting a Christmas card display together in the back room. Guy almost hits her with a skid. I said it’s ok. We can send her a get well card. He laughed. She laughed. I’ve never seen her laugh. 😝😝

Devon is definitely caked up. I enjoy the view when I’m following him. I’d follow him anywhere. Even off a goddamned cliff 😍 #WranglerButts

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary Jesus. A long time.

If my feet are going to be just as cold wearing boots, why am I wearing them? I’m uncomfortable. I’m going back to wearing my runners. #ComfortIsKing

Why did you just finger waggle wave at your crush when he normal waved at you girl?? WTF is wrong with you?? #IAmADork

My first sunrise pic from Matt

I usually get the mushroom flavoured hot pot. Apparently that’s not what I chose. 🤢🤮🤮🤢 Not just river snail but abundant river snail.