Nathan Kail

#isitok I just Challenged @BorisJohnson to pedalo across the English Channel in support of the NHS. Yes! Go to challengeboris.com to do the same! #thelastleg #challengeboris

Got msg telling me that GeneSimmons was following me on twitter. I followed link, but all I got back was porn.. Thanks Gene. #firsttweets

If Tony Blair ends up becoming the president of Europe and David Cameron Becomes prime minister of UK then Im going to the moon #Firsttweets

You can please some of the people some of the time but you can't please an annoyingly needy person ever

If you can fix an ironing board, you can probably fix a helicopter. Join the army, please. Thanks. @armyjobs

I've been pretty humble all these years, but I think credit is needed where credits due. The pyramids. Yeah, that was all me. You're welcome

I hope the new Xfiles goes like this - "Hey, Scully Do you remember when-" and then just flashing back to old episodes. #XFilesRevival

Fire alarms were going off outside my bedroom at around 4am this morning. I woke up, urgently ate a cherry Bakewell and went back to sleep.

@npowerhelp m.youtube.com/watch?list=FLD… One of the many ways we're standing up for ourselves ;)

@npowerhq m.youtube.com/watch?list=FLD…

I know appearances can be deceiving, but I just wanted to set the record straight. I'm white. I just like wearing my hair this way.

I'm following @serafinowicz, @themarklittle and @goddamnopenmic on @spreaker spreaker.com/user/nontopical

In it to win it, innit @chrisoxlade #crawley #labour #respect

My nephew uploaded this to my youtube whilst I was asleep on my sisters couch youtu.be/-XS505djFYI

I hope Dad calls today.

#WorstSexIn5Words Cat jumps on my chest.

#WorstSexIn5Words Anal beads get lost inside.

#WorstSexIn5Words Cannot stop thinking about Jesus.

Don't you hate it when you can't decide between suicide or murder so you just end up staying in listening to happy music and eating biscuits