Kayla Neilson

BREAKING: As a prank, Democrats in Congress “accidentally” added Pete Hegseth and The Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg to the group chat in which they are discussing Hegseth’s imminent impeachment.

BREAKING: At a Fox News executive meeting today one producer reportedly suggested if Democrats win a landslide that Fox should send reporters to operas, gay bars, and drag shows to "understand Democratic voters," and then all the executives burst out laughing for 30 seconds.

BREAKING: Donald Trump reportedly just learned how Congress passes bills into law, and now he's furious he didn't campaign harder or spend any of his own money to try and help Republicans keep control of at least the Senate.

BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly beginning to worry he doesn't actually have the highest approval of any president in US history.

BREAKING: White House insiders say Donald Trump's temper is at "DEFCON Ketchup" over how the heckled shout "#ShoveThatBallroomUpYourFATASS" has become an energizing slogan for straight-ticket-Democratic voting among farmers and ranchers in Kansas, Iowa, Nebraska, and Montana.

BREAKING: A top GOP official accidentally said on a hot mic, “If Netanyahu loses reelection in Israel, and Democrats in the US win subpoena power in both chambers of Congress, all I can say is Jared Kushner is completely, totally, utterly, historically, spectacularly f*cked.”

BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly demanding his staffers find out how much money Barack Obama is offering in Craiglist ads for his rally crowds to get so huge, and his staffers are just making up numbers because Trump refuses to believe Democrats don't have to pay.

BREAKING: JD Vance’s office is reportedly receiving hundreds of letters a day from people mailing him news stories about Donald Trump’s corruption after Vance claimed he hasn’t seen any evidence of Trump enriching himself.

BREAKING: A reporter asked Donald Trump, “Since you’re accusing Abdul El-Sayed of being in the Muslim Brotherhood because of his mom, does that mean you’re in the KKK because your dad got arrested at a Klan rally?” to which Trump stared for a few seconds, frowned, and said, “No."

BREAKING: Donald Trump claims that if Democrats win control of Congress they'll raise gas prices, increase inflation, start a war, solicit bribes for political access, give military contracts to their kids, and abuse their power for frivolous investigations of political enemies.

BREAKING: Elon Musk reportedly suspects Ken Paxton might be siphoning some of the $168 million he dumped into Paxton's campaign to buy more real estate for himself.

BREAKING: Congressional Democrats are reportedly hinting that Elon Musk might be having some immigration issues next year when they investigate his admittedly "grey area" employment while on a student visa after dropping out of his university.

BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly beginning to worry that dozens of his staffers will mimic Kimberly Guilfoyle and extort him for cash to stay quiet about his fraud, incompetence, abuses of power, and bribery because that's what he'd do if he were in their position.

BREAKING: A new poll found that 96% of Americans support forcing Donald Trump's Batman-villain-looking convicted felon buddy who totally botched the Reflecting Pool renovation to give taxpayers a full refund of the $16 million he charged.