Nutsy Jones

Twas the the day before Christmas I’m out in the heat. I’m sweating my ass off smoking some meat. Not having traditional dinner this year Cuz brisket goes well with whiskey and beer. When all of a sudden there arose a kerfluffle, So I grabbed my AR from the emergency duffle. I swing to the right and steady my stance, There’s a red clad fat man, shittin’ his pants. I said “hey mother fcker, you like to got shot”. He squinted his eyes and pissed quite a lot. I came to myself and realized who this was, The red sleigh, the reindeer, it’s Santa Claus! I put down the gun and offered a drink, Fckin’ “A” he said, with a nod and a wink. I poured us one, and after a couple, The color returned to his cheeks and his knuckles. He said not gonna lie I thought I was clapped, I said with Muslims afoot we gotta stay strapped, He nodded agreement and said “I gotta go, These reindeer gonna die if I don’t find some snow.” I told him “head north, you ought to do well, But brother down here, it’s hotter than hell”. He turned to his sleigh and hopped in the front, Said he had deliveries to make, except for Pelosi, that cunt. As his reindeer took off, he turned to the rear and said “Hey, ℕgonna, thanks for the beer”. I looked and saw where the beer used to be, He took my last six pack, but he left the Jack D. Then I thought to myself “Santa’s a dick, I just fckn got robbed by jolly St. Nick!” Oh well, I thought as I heard him exclaim “Merry Christmas, motherfcker, I’m just out of range!”

Let’s play “doctor or lawyer”…

This is total bullsht! The phrase is “plata o plomo” which means “silver or lead” not gold… which is a common threat from the cartels. Texas as a state did not “bend the knee” our state has a half dozen or so counties that are democrat strongholds… the Dems have wanted Texas to go blue for decades and have even accused it of being purple… not true… Texas is red, the fix is in, cheating occurred and justice will hopefully be served. The democrats in Texas could very likely be on the cartel payroll but Texas is not a democrat territory just yet. Thank you for your attention to this matter.👊🏻🇺🇸🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Tattoo guy: What can I do you for? This bitch for some reason: Yo, can you do the Michelin man crankin’ his hog underneath my bra strap which is ironically underneath my man pit? Tattoo guy: Take a seat, cousin it… I got you…

It’s never random…

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😆😆😆🤣🤣😂😂😆😆😆🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣😆😆😆🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣😆🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣😆😆🤣🤣😆😆🤣🤣😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😆😆😆😆😆😆😆🤣🤣😂😂😂

Turns out I’m into SKS stuff… I assume SKS is: Superior Knit Shirt

My charges would be easy in this case… your muzzy ass can call for backup and I’ll call my attorney…

I should call her…

Something, something knife to a gun fight…