𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫

⠀⠀⠀┏ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ʟɪᴛᴇʀᴀᴛᴇ & ᴅᴇꜱᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴠᴇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋ & ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ᴏᴄꜱ/ᴄʀᴏꜱꜱᴏᴠᴇʀꜱ ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ɴᴏɴ-ʟᴇᴡᴅ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀┛

𝑪𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒖𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆. That's adorably naive, brother dearest. Mankind don't need to be corrupted. Let them know where the guns are kept and they'll do the rest themselves. With great imagination, at that, and often diodes.

They've a nasty habit of getting in the back door. Rather sneaky, demons.

"I know which one he's designated to. Rather funny, when you know the whole design."

"I'm already aware of how overly complex the situation with your soul is. And, if I'm rudely honest, I don't particularly want it. Ah. How silly of me. No, I'm not charging you in coin, John - though how delightfully me-ish of you to foist the bill onto your lovely magician."

Perhaps a great deal longer, if he continues waving his sword at everything like a raving gibbon.

"No. Quite the opposite, actually. It's a great deal of fun, being right about everything at everyone else's expense. And, speaking of expenses, you've racked up quite a bill. In an existential sense, as much as monetary - though, certainly monetary. Bars don't fund themselves."

"Delicate? You mean "assured." John has a face. A very particular, mockable face. In a way, it's befitting, since his entire existence is in some way mocking the machinations of the universe."

"Oh, Michael. You're as good a liar as your hair is short." It IS adorable when he tries to tell his little fibs.

"Jesus wouldn't give you a straight answer. Ah, yes. Because they've made quite the effort to stay out of your life up until now, haven't they."

For what it's worth, you're far more interesting than Raphael.

Lucifer stared at the paper for a moment, before laughing finally with a shake of his head. "I've been told that by a great many kings. And yet I'm still here, and they're not."

That you are. Unfortunately, far less interesting than I - but then, who isn't?

...𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒉. "In a way, that's a touch disappointing. Not with you, but that media has me set as an incompetent robot."

"Don't be so absurd. My family don't have skeletons, in a physical sense. Perhaps a few ideological ones tucked in their cupboards for a rainy day - I let mine occupy the furniture. Far more interesting that way."

"I get that a lot. Something of an...annoying stereotype. With horrid, leathery, black wings. Interesting, in how you phrased it. So, you expected something other than a human."

"A few of your haunted platoon certainly seemed to think so."

With a tittering laugh, he shrugged ever so slightly. "Guilty, as charged. Although, 𝒅𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒍 is something of an old title. Tell me, am I what you would have expected me to look like?"