OptionAmbrose retweeted
the city of Los Angeles has banned the sale of flavored vapes. I suggest they take it one step further and kiII my parents in front of me
With chat bots being as advanced as they are nowadays I’d like to request an AOL Instant Messenger emulator
OptionAmbrose retweeted
Advice: if you're at a formal dinner, tuck your butt cheeks into your asshole.
I’ve been reading all my past tweets to Kim. Can’t believe I’ve been able to take my Twitter material on the road
This next group is a Counting Crows tribute band. Give it up for, Taking Inventory of Ravens! #tributebandnames
OptionAmbrose retweeted
Ah yes, the one time of year I open my “idk but this seems important” paper drawer and give myself a panic attack just so I can get my hard earns back from the government
OptionAmbrose retweeted
FUN FACT: Joe Rogan is exactly 4 feet and 8 inches tall, while also being 4 feet and 8 inches wide.
Friend: you ever walked out of a movie before?
Me, still sitting in the theater where I saw The Little Mermaid: I think we both know the answer to that
Has enough time passed for children to think a memory card would be found near the “get well soon” cards at the store?
When the fruit snacks pack is tough to open you know you’re about to send them shits flyin all over the room – at Minneapolis, MN
My phone is broken and it still went off this morning. It was alarming, much like the blood in my urine – at Minneapolis, MN
