Buddy The Elf

Some of the best iPhone cases ever! 40% off! Have a look --> bit.ly/W2WSPu - sp

When you see a shirt you like, check the price, then slowly walk away...

Oxford University scientists have discovered a fat burning diet secret--> Read this to learn the trick: bit.ly/UJdPOC - sp

A dollar make me holla Honey Boo Boo.

I am so ready for Christmas movies and Christmas songs and Christmas food and the Christmas atmosphere.

I just spotted some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces.

"This new watch works 100ft under water!" Oh yeah because I find myself in that situation all the time...

When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... Y'know, to keep away all of those monsters who are scared by small, low wattage light bulbs.

I'd like to know what Obama and Romney propose to do about YouTube buffering.

Imagine if you called the wrong number and the person who answered was a celebrity. "Hello?" "Dad?" "No. This is Morgan Freeman"

I fail to understand why teachers say, ”You think its funny?" ... Obviously. That’s why I laughed. Fool.

I'm not playing "hard to get" I'm playing "I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole."

Men are born in between women's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in there, because there's no place like home.

For the men who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember: that's where the knives are kept.

"I" before "E" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm".

Nicki Minaj is my favourite Dr. Seuss character.

Why do we call them "shark-infested waters"? That's where they live, they aren't infesting them. We don't call them "people-infested houses"

Modern musicians and record companies have done a great job of fighting piracy by releasing music that nobody wants to steal.

This Halloween I'm going to scare everyone I know by texting them, "We need to talk".

No, medicine, you are not 'strawberry flavoured'. Have you ever tasted a strawberry? You taste like death and the tears of small children.