Private Reports™

Simple poll. Please be honest! As of today, how much do you still trust this man? A. 100 % B. 75% C. 50% D. 25% E. 0%

The Hambriston Country Jamboree is world-famous for its star-studded lineups. It's the same crowd that let Garth Brooks know he was no longer welcome in 2023. What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Don't forget: Jack Smith doesn't have an autopardon. He probably couldn't afford one. What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Radical Leftist Mark Hamill earned himself a visit from the Secret Service after making a statement to a room full of Comic-Con weirdos that he'd love to "Get close enough to Trump to take him out." The statement, which was applauded by the audience, wasn't the first time Hamill has used violent language, showing a pattern the President's security detail can't ignore. According to public records, Hamill was questioned and informed that continued acts of violent expression towards the President will result in charges for harassment and malicious intent. What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Radical Leftist Alan Ritchson, who has made it his mission in life to spread lies about President Trump, was just informed by his employers at Paramount that political posting on social media is explicitly forbidden by his contract. Ritchson is the lead in the show "Reacher," which has been lagging in ratings since he began his assault on democracy. Paramount Talent Coordinator Jon Raebro says there doesn't seem to be an interest in renewing the show for a fifth season. "Mr. Ritchson seems determined to end his own career." What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

A federal judge has ordered YouTube to block Jimmy Kimmel's interview with James Talarico until the 15th District Court has a chance to review the FCC's case. According to Communications Commissioner Josephine Barron, the interview was initially blocked from the airwaves for containing "monumental lies" about Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, President Trump, and the Republican Party. The FCC filed the suit against YouTube, claiming that showing a banned video on its platform still violates the legal code of conduct that ABC skirted by sending the slander to an online platform. "We have to draw the line somewhere." What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Dolly Parton's family has denied Taylor Swift's request to headline a tribute concert honoring the late singer. Blake Shelton, who the family chose to coordinate the event, told Swift that he and the Parton family were concerned she'd do what she does and steal the show. "This isn't about you, Taylor." Swift is welcome to attend, but won't be permitted to perform. What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

At last weekend's "Hollywood Icons" convention in Las Vegas, liberal lunatic Ben Stiller was publicly humiliated when he tried to announce a new "Dodgeball" movie with Vince Vaughan. Vaughan, who was at the same convention on a different panel, told enthusiasts that he hasn't spoken to Stiller in years. "Ben hangs out with Seth Rogen a little bit too much," Vaughan joked. "He must have gotten high and hallucinated a version of me that would actually work with him again." Stiller canceled his second appearance. What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Garth Brooks says what's happening to Jelly Roll "hurts his heart." Brooks, notorious for getting all in his feels about other people's lives, said that this time he really feels Jelly's pain. "I know what it's like to give in and do the woke thing. He'll regret it forever." His unsuccessful comeback album and tour last year is proof positive that once you've insulted the country world, there is no going back. What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Twenty years of failure only to end up quitting. What a waste. What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

This guy was a nobody who had a decent show. Now he's a nobody whose show is canceled. What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Secretary of War Pete Hegseth says declassifying the Benghazi files has opened new avenues of information for citizen journalists like Nick Shirley. "That young man very quickly found a direct link between Clinton and the shoulder-mounted RPGs that went 'missing' during the attack." Hegseth says he intends to give Shirley and his team all the support they need. "You can't hide from a determined American who loves his country." What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Babs is a washed-up relic. Nobody will miss her. That's the best part. What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Roseanne Barr says she turned down an offer from Jimmy Kimmel to "bridge the divide" between entertainers with differing political views and guest-host his show. "He wanted me to show up in front of his liberal audience so they could scrutinize everything I say and boo me for not having blue hair and pierced nipples," said the sitcom icon. "No thanks, Jimmy. I'll pass." Barr said she's sure Kimmel and the left would have used clips of her in awkward moments for years to come. "They don't know how to entertain. So they ridicule instead." What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Clint Eastwood formally rejected and returned all of his Oscars to the Academy after the organization refused to define the word "woman" and accepted a nomination for a biological male for best supporting actress. "I'm standing up for women's rights," said the 93-year-old Hollywood icon. "If it's the last stand I make, then so be it." The "actress" in question, Joseph "JoJobeans" Barron, was nominated for a small part in the latest Seth Rogen film. Eastwood says he hopes his protest gets some attention. What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Soon-to-be-former Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett is "running out of money and options," according to a former colleague familiar with her situation. "Jasmine spends a lot," said the friend, who asked to remain anonymous. "Since losing the primary, she's lost all of her side work, and she has no prospects for what she'll do when her term is up." Crockett can't get a job as a lawyer in Texas after allowing her license to lapse. "She thought for sure she'd be in Congress for life. She should have planned better." What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Greta Thunberg was arrested again, but this time it's different. This time, she's not getting out. Thunberg "crossed the line," according to Interpol Director Josef Barrone. "Setting off an explosive device, no matter how small, is an act of terrorism." Thunberg was taken into custody by police in Rome after she threw an exploding box full of confetti into the fountain in St. Peter's Square. She faces a mandatory minimum of three years in prison. "She's very lucky nobody was hurt, or it would be much longer." Her parents paid her $5 million bail. What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Ed Sheeran's tour manager says Oliver Anthony, the country sensation who lit up the charts with his blockbuster hit "Rich Men North of Richmond," will replace "Mackelmore" as Sheeran's opening act. "Oliver's message is about being a common man in a divided country. He doesn't take sides on politics, which is exactly what Ed is looking for." Anthony will play a 40-minute set to open for Sheeran, starting with Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, Massachusetts, this weekend. "Mackelmore" has been dropped from four other tours this year. What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Hunter Biden's pardon says he can't be punished for crimes against the United States, but it doesn't say he can't be charged. "If we charge him," said UYS Attorney Jeanine Pirro, "he'll have to use that pardon he has in his pocket, and in doing so, he'll have to admit to all of his crimes in open court." Biden would also lose his 5th Amendment right to remain silent if called to testify before Congress, since a pardon requires admission of guilt. "Charging him for his crimes is the practical way to see that the truth comes out." What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Bruce Springsteen says he's about ready to pack it in and retire after losing a huge percentage of his fanbase to his woke ideologies. "I can't ignore what's going on in this country and the world," said Springsteen. "Since my fans don't want to hear it, I'll stop taking the stage." Springsteen says he's considering starting a political podcast instead. Yet another legend taken out by wokeness.😳 What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏

Congresswoman Priya Jayapal has been relieved of her spot on the House Ways and Means Committee after Speaker Mike Johnson's office announced that she has been using the committee to illegally lobby funds for Democrats. "Representative Jayapal regularly moves to shift taxpayer money from the private sector to companies owned by Democrats engaging in socialist practices," read a statement from Johnson. "Her continued presence on the committee is an affront to the people who elected her." Jayapal says she'll appeal the decision. What's your response to this......??👀 MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON X. LET’S GO 👏