Quackack

ALT Girl: My parents gave me 'the talk' last night. It was so awkward. Boy: Mine too! I get the talk all the time. Girl: Wait, you get the talk more than once? Boy: Yeah. Each time, they go into more details about weird things I'm pretty sure no one else is into. Girl: Are you okay? Are your parents doing 'private' things with you? Boy: I think they just want practice. At first it was confusing, but I kind of get it now. *Last Night.* Parent: Hey, I have a conference coming up soon. Can I practice the talk with you?

ALT *A picture of someone sad and unable to focus* Narrator: Don’t think depression is a big deal? What about ADHD? People with ADHD often struggle in school and other professional environments. And depressed people are more likely to quit, less productive, and more likely to make mistakes. *The narrator talking in front of a military base* Narrator: That’s why at Contractor and Sons, we won’t hire anyone with any mental health disorder, or history of mental health disorder. *Narrator yelling at the camera, red in the face* Narrator: And if you complain about it, I will kick your ass with my undiagnosed anger management disorder before I go drinking to avoid my relationship problems!

ALT *A girl in a green field.* Narrator: Once there was a world, that was mundane. Everything was local and seemed sane. *A world of bubbles with alien fairies, rainbows, trails of energy, in front of a starry sky.* Narrator: But if you looked closely, you could find, a fairy space with fairy time. *The field and a looking glass through which you can see the fairy world.* The two worlds are the same, just viewed a different way! *A table with looking glasses and a piece of paper with math written on it.* Narrator: To change your view, use the fairy-er transform. But that can be hard to perform. Then Cooley and Tukey made it faster, the FFT stopped disasters- *A child in bed with her dad sitting next to her.* Child: Dad, is this a thinly veiled math lesson again? Dad: That depends, have you decided math is interesting enough to drop the metaphors?

ALT *Girl on big screen* Doctor: Greetings algotham city! It is I, 'The Low Degree Doctor'! I hid 10 bombs and 10 clues on how to disarm them! You have 10 hours. *A graph* Doctor: Now a one hour lecture on how the clues work. We start with a low degree polynomial over a finite field… *In cave* Butler: Surely her degree is lower than Doctor if she explains the clues! We already found 10 bombs and 9 clues! Adman will disarm them easily! *Man in bat costume* Adman: No, her secret sharing scheme isn't just computationally sound, but informationally sound. We are doomed without the 10th clue. *Girl on a computer* Robin: Holy ice cubes Adman! The bombs are connected to the internet, and are using an unpatched, low version of log4j! I can disable them with remote code execution! *Doctor tied up* Doctor: And I would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for that buggy uninstaller! Robin: Or just connecting to the internet. Adman: We solve way too many mysteries this way.