✨She’s a ten but it’s short for tense✨ Executive Assistant to the Director, Helen Keller Academy of Interpretive Marksmanship
Somewhere Unstable
Joined August 2008
- Tweets9.8K
- Following2K
- Followers1.2K
- Likes112K
Pinned Tweet
My greatest fear is a rat in the toilet and I sit down and it latches onto my vag with all those sharp teeth and claws but I can see how getting married late is kinda scary.
My dogs live for barking at everything that moves out front and for standing in front of the Roomba and confusing it.
The lady at the coffee shop told me I have a lovely smile. I’m pushing 50 and I don’t think anyone has ever said that to me.
Listening to my co-worker whisper narrate every single thing she’s doing and it’s like when you hear the unintelligible whispering in a horror movie so I guess this is like her celebrating Halloween.
These reminded me of the cards my daughter received from her 1st grade classmates after she had a seizure at school & went to the hospital. This was my fave and includes my kid on a gurney.
All the young girlies think true love is him taking you to a pumpkin patch & doing a soft-focus photo shoot.
It’s not. True love is when he goes to the drugstore to buy you the real, red Sudafed & willingly adds himself to the government’s meth watch list so you can breathe.
Neighbors are absolutely screaming at each other and the sun isn’t even down yet. May be an interesting evening.
How many spoonfuls of honey is too much honey when dealing with a bad cough? I think I’m honey wasted.
I’ve gotten sick. Snotty. Coughing. Might be dying. But….I still have that promethazine cough syrup from last time. So, I won’t care about any of that, I’ll be able to smell colors, and now I’ll be @ElonJoin839’s problem (as usual).
Currently at work: they’re maybe hiring a local former pizza delivery driver who had(?) a raging drug & jail problem for a position in the one area that has access to all the chemicals in the building. Can’t wait to see how this turns out, also re-evaluating my exit paths.
Man! I Feel Like a Woman! is a truly terrible song and example #659,340 why most Canadian music should be stopped at the border with force if necessary.
When my youngest was 4, we’d go to Fatburger for a hot dog every Thursday after preschool and no one in the family knew.
