had a shrieking sobbing mental breakdown at work yesterday and i am probably gonna be jobless and homeless again soon BUT today the sky is blue and the breeze is pleasantly cool along johnstons creek beneath the booth street bridge

when the on-site nurse tried to gently explain to me that “Coles cares about our people, this was clearly an accident brought on by stress, you won't be blamed, the financial impact on the company is not your fault” i howled in her face with horrible uncontainable laughter

there was no character limit on the text box that asked “explain in as much detail as necessary why you need the tf2 medic to tauntkill you” so of course i wrote a wretched essay in the voice of eeyore

i forgot that straight men are aliens until one of the other white boys at work, instead of simply telling me i seem uptight and should consider pumping iron and/or getting laid (valid!), conspiratorially advised me that the gym is a prime location for ogling and pestering women