Chris Stewart

I was at Centennial on Monday, watching camp. I overheard someone say “that’s either Stew or a Stew doppelgänger.” Brother, let me stop you right there. There’s only one Stew. Blue t-shirt, surfer print board shorts, flip-flops. You think anyone else can just wake up like this?

So you’re going spend your days getting on the neighborhood Facebook group to complain about (checks notes) kids riding scooters, ding-dong ditching, playing with their friends, socializing, and not hiding behind a computer screen? Is that correct?

Someone sent this to me in the overnight mail. I’ve uploaded it and can now “retweet” it.

“Ok now, point to the one won the board drill between you two.”

When life gives you flood waters, grab a surfboard. 🌊 🏄🏼‍♂️ (I’d still be going faster than pretty much every car driving in the left lane on Sandy Plains on any given weekday)

Remember kids, at midnight be sure to turn your sweatshirts inside out. And if your sweatpants have cuffs at the bottom… I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe just stay in 2023.

Dang. What a waste. I’d be stoked to ride those pockets 🏄🏼‍♂️

“In conclusion, men, remember the 4 B’s: surfBoard, snowBoard, Board shorts… and Jimmy Buffet.”

My face when I tell a kid to take his hood off in the lunch room but he puts it back on as soon as he turns the corner

Galleria scenes: You paid… (checks notes) $9 to stand in line for Subway? I had the buffet for $12. Waited five minutes and had all the chicken fingers and mac n cheese I could ask for.

Hey. I was the guy at @GlazierClinics today wearing a shirt and pants not covered in school logos. You must be the other guy.

Stupid clinics. I felt forced to wear khakis today. I just got out of a one hour shower. #StopThePain

Advantage: board shorts

Pouring down out here at North Forsyth camp. Not enough coaches with flip-flops. Yeah I’ll get grass on my feet when it’s raining, but 30 minutes later my feet will be dry and you’ll be slushing around with wet socks.

“Dad can we do putt-putt?” No. “Dad can we do go-karts?” No. “Dad can we do the new water park? They have a surfing station.”

Speaking of, some of y’all need to chill on email signatures Sincerely, Chris Stewart, Ed. S., M. Ed. BS Major: Physical Education Minor: Sport Surfing Assistant Head Football Coach Defensive Coordinator Physical Education Teacher Senior Boating Instructor Senior Ski Instructor

Hold up, boys. I’m all-time pitcher. I didn’t get my specialist’s for nothing.

I mean, special shout-out @coachpathall getting it done in his debut as special teams coordinator tonight.

Wait Bodhi was the villain? That wasn’t my takeaway at all!

In the meantime, turn those sweatshirts inside out and put the soft side closest to your body. Sweatshirts are for you to be comfortable, not for society (or THE MAN) to read whatever is printed on them.