Rearranging highchairs on the Titanic. Blog by a father of two based in London, UK. Search for me on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and Blogger
London, UK
Joined August 2014
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Parenting irony is having a bad back because you’re a parent…
…but not having time to stretch daily because you’re a parent
#RealFatherhood #Backache
The best day of your life is when your child is born
The second best day of your life is when they’re old enough to have CalPol
#RealFatherhood #CalPol
Wife: The kids watch way too much Simpsons
Me: No they don’t
Wife: Kids, what’s the capital of Northern Ireland?
Kids: North Haverbrook?
#RealFatherhood #TheSimpsons @TheSimpsons
Different gender hand-me-downs:
When you love your second child but not enough to splash out on a whole new wardrobe
#RealFatherhood
Never ask a 4-year old boy an open question. There is a 97% probability that the answer will be “Poo poo head”
#RealFatherhood
1st Child: Put Calpol on top shelf out of reach
2nd Child: Plays with empty Calpol bottle
3rd Child: Let them measure out and administer their own doses
#RealFatherhood #Calpol
The main purpose of WhatsApp is to keep your partner at work informed as to how terrible the kids are being at home
#WhatsApp #RealFatherhood
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Remember that time you didn’t have to rush to be somewhere with your kids?
Yeah, neither do I
#RealFatherhood
Assembling a BBQ would be a lot quicker without the “help” from your 3 year old
#RealFatherhood
You realise Mother Nature has a twisted sense of humour when you discover that taking off a baby’s nappy makes them pee
#RealFatherhood