JR

For my part, I’ll echo what others have said: I want people to stop lying, minimizing, and gaslighting. My goal is not to “weaken the church.” My goal is for the church, and the culture around it, to stop inflicting the kind of psychological and spiritual harm that so many former members describe. When former members consistently report feeling inadequate, ashamed, hyper-perfectionistic, or spiritually broken while they were inside the system, that should be treated as evidence of a problem, not as evidence that they simply “wanted to sin” or “never understood the gospel.” I want the church to stop hoarding money and start meaningfully giving back to the communities it claims to serve. That is something I want from other wealthy churches too. I want the church to stop using the language of “repentance” as a shield for predators, especially in situations where there may not be a legal obligation to report but there is very obviously a moral obligation to protect the vulnerable. That is what I want as an ex-Mormon. I want less suffering. I want fewer people leaving the church feeling like they are broken beyond repair. I want fewer kids growing up believing God is disappointed in them. I want fewer abuse victims being asked to preserve the reputation of the institution that failed them. I want fewer people mistaking shame for holiness and The Still Small Voice™ . I do not need the church to collapse in order for my pain or other people’s pain to matter. I need the church and its defenders to stop pretending that the pain was imaginary, deserved, or spiritually useful. If those changes made the church healthier, safer, and more honest, I would consider that a good thing. If the church becomes weaker because it stops gaslighting people, hiding money, protecting predators, and manufacturing shame, then the problem was what the church required in order to remain strong.