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at this point putting any real information in your twitter bio is just ammunition for trolls. he/they

the midwestern wasteland
Joined September 2008
Photo by self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 (@RunnerD3x)Photo by self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 (@RunnerD3x)Photo by self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 (@RunnerD3x)Photo by self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 (@RunnerD3x)Photo by self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 (@RunnerD3x)Photo by self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 (@RunnerD3x)Photo by self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 (@RunnerD3x)Photo by self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 (@RunnerD3x)Photo by self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 (@RunnerD3x)Photo by self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 (@RunnerD3x)
Please enjoy this photo of Everest I apparently took a year ago
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self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 retweeted
this video ......
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Math is hard
Replying to @jakerivard
Yes exactly, she's not 17 anymore, she's almost 24, which means she's pushing 30...and even if that wasn't the case it doesn't excuse her making Kidz Bop ass music.
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Have any if these children -actually heard- Christmas Wrapping. Explain to me what you think is legally actionable
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Being a musician with some basic ear training who has been identifying musical similarities between songs for decades and knowing that almost none of them are intentional/conscious/malicious is Funny Sometimes
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No we dont. Well not for whatever this is anyway
everyone owes Taylor Swift a really really big apology
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You dont have to credit songs you are heavily inspired from and, fuck I hate to say it, but the Marvin Gaye / Robin Thicke suit is one reason you now -wouldnt-. They used an admission of inspiration as evidence of plagiarism and thst is NOT the same thing
I still haven’t received an explanation for why Olivia didn’t credit a song she was heavily inspired from. Why did she think giving them concert tickets was better than the established legal process? And it’s Christmas music, everyone samples, interpolates, does covers
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self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 retweeted
Jared Fogle meet-and-greet tour.
Millennials, what was considered completely NORMAL in 2005 that would be absolutely unhinged today?
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self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 retweeted
cranky people listening to olivia rodrigo: someone like Robert Smith of the cure would hate this robert smith: she is genuinely fantastic as a songwriter and as a singer, as a performer, and the band, everything about it […] I am slightly in awe of how easy she finds it all
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There clearly is some kinda wall you hit after you exceed the global average life expectancy by close to a decade
Replying to @NafRETURNS
There clearly is some kinda wall you hit in your late 70s/80 or so. Same thing happened to Biden but even quicker and worse. Biden in 2020 vs 2024 is a similar “what the hell who is this guy” feeling.
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Anybody who does this should be sterilized
Spotify just announced a feature that could either save the music industry or destroy it. Starting as early as Q1 2027, Spotify Premium subscribers will be able to use AI to transform any participating artist’s song into a completely different version. Turn a folk ballad into a dance track. Make a hip-hop song sound acoustic. Generate a cover where one artist’s voice performs another artist’s song. Remix a pop hit into lo-fi study music. Create the version of your favorite song that only existed in your head until now. The remixes will be uploaded directly to Spotify. They’ll appear in playlists. They’ll count toward the original song’s chart position. And most importantly the original artist will earn royalties every time someone listens to a fan-created remix of their work. Spotify has already signed a landmark licensing deal with Universal Music Group the world’s largest record label. Negotiations with Sony Music and Warner Music are ongoing. The feature will cost an additional $4–$5/month on top of Spotify Premium. And analysts project 7–8% of American subscribers will adopt it by 2028. This is not Suno or Udio generating music from text prompts. This is fans remixing real songs by real artists with the artists’ permission, on the world’s largest streaming platform, with royalties flowing back to the creators. A music industry analyst who’s covered streaming economics for 15 years told her team something after reading the licensing agreement that reframed how she understood the future of recorded music. “Spotify just turned 640 million listeners into 640 million potential remixers. The question isn’t whether people will use it they will. The question is whether paying artists for fan remixes solves the economics of streaming or creates a world where the original recording is worth less than the infinite remixes generated from it.” Here’s what Spotify’s AI remix feature actually is, who wins, who loses, and why this might be the most consequential decision in the music industry since the launch of streaming itself 🧵
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self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 retweeted
in one of his essays gary larson (who drew the far side) describes a time when a newspaper editor tried to get him to make ‘the far side’ as a comic strip, rather than a single panel comic. comic strips have characters, and are thus more marketable. they also fit on the page better. but, he said no. in his estimation, the comic strip format is about “wit”. things happen back and forth, and then there’s a final “joke”. it’s “witty”. he contrasted this to the single panel strip, which he said just depicts a sense of humor. his work is the perfect example of this. what people like about the far side appears to be that it’s really one guy’s bizarre sense of humor that just instantly comes through the comics. each comic is a joke obviously, but it’s not a joke you could port onto a stage (usually) - like many comic strip jokes. it’s like reaching into a strange garden and taking out one plant. then another. then another. i often think about the contrast he painted. comic strips are “wit”, single panels are “a sense of humor”. likewise, jim davis (illustrator of garfield) said in one interview, “people don’t laugh at comic strips because they’re funny, they laugh at them because they’re true”. (jim davis and charles shultz did cross paths, supposedly shultz is the one who had the idea for garfield to stand on his hind legs and initially sketched it out - previously, davis had him sitting and walking like a cat.) i believe these two observations, together, explain the general darkness of schultz’s work. i do not agree with the below characterization that his “late game” work is especially dark. it starts kind of sad and with a very particular view of life right at the beginning, and that runs all the way through it. if you look at and read the first five years of peanuts, it’s already there at full blast. i think it took five years for him to have a year where no new characters enter or disappear - so, even in its nascent and chaotic formative state, you can see a particular view of life come through strongly. his work is great, he’s probably the pre-eminent cartoonist for the twentieth century, so this isn’t about that. but, the universe in there is often very sad. one axis mundi of the peanuts universe is that sometimes things just don’t work out. of course, that’s true - but it’s a central pillar around which the work operates. if jim davis is correct that comic strips are funny to people when they’re true (to them), we can obviously see that this was a large part of charles schultz’s view of life: it was apparently true for him (ironically, it was not true professionally or artistically). i think peanuts is a challenge for illustrators who are into comics because the actual content is not what people think of when they think of peanuts. people think of garfield, and imagine “yeah - garfield hates mondays and loves lasagna”, and, that’s correct. that’s really what’s on the page. that is not the case with peanuts. people imagine the animated specials. the comics aren’t like that at all. my favorite show is ‘king of the hill’. i was working with a guy once, and mentioned this, and he said: i just don’t get it, is it supposed to be funny? and, i thought that perfectly captured it. king of the hill isn’t funny like there are “jokes”, it’s just kind of funny because of the situation. it’s like a generally humorous environment. the worldview comes through indirectly. peanuts is like this. each strip isn’t “a joke”, exactly. it’s more that schultz created a universe that he found funny. but, it’s pessimistic. i would almost say thats its defining quality. the classic literary conflicts (man vs nature, man vs society, etc.) are generally lost by the main characters. this makes it closer to modern literature than most other comic strips.
The last 3 years of the Peanuts comic before Charles Schulz died is the most depressing piece of literature ever crafted. A harrowing look at incoming mortality. A gradual darkness around the corners of your eyes swallowing more n more of the light. Atrophy calls. Finality rings.
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self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 retweeted
This tweet is kind of crazy. The Washington Post asked to interview me about it. I'm seeing it posted all over Instagram and Facebook. People I know in real life keep sending it to me. Simone Biles liked it! And I gained about 15 followers.
we're putting ms rachel on the $100 bill
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self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 retweeted
Women calling little boys "would-be incels" should be met with the same contempt and disgust as men calling little girls "future whores" or other sexualized insults. WILDLY inappropriate way to speak of children.
The first novel I ever loved was the survival classic Hatchet, but recently I’ve learned that a *lot* of women despise this book, and see it is as something they were forced to read in school to entice the idiot illiterate boys in their English class. I dove into that tension!
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self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 retweeted
you simply must turn the sound on for this
I made a full original game in 24 hours using AI Stack: Opus 5.5 + Flux 3 Max + GPT Image + Tripo + Blender + Three.js Anyone can make games now. Full workflow thread and prompt below: (1/7)
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RT very much not an endorsement on that last one 😅
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self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 retweeted
Replying to @rabbitrun19x9
If you're a white person you have to hit your cultural equivalent, the Macarena.
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Hey @Chewy this sucks. You took something good that customers (including me) appreciated and benefited from and replaced it with a crappy robot. Bad move.
As a brand, @Chewy had the best and most sensitive response to pet loss. And now their automation is so insensitive it’s ruining people’s days. Extremely sad downward trend in overall customer experience. Companies like this should be deeply ashamed.
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Hot take: this is "why can't Disco Elysium be about a cute witch drinking coffee and looking for a missing cat" 2.0
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self-service coffee bard (parody) 🐀 retweeted
listen i know texas flipping was huge but i need yall to give kansas some more credit
The last time Kansas elected a Democratic Senator, Herbert Hoover was president, Babe Ruth was playing for the Yankees, and Elvis hadn’t been born.
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2026: Beyond The Rhelms
I’m sorry but any predictions and “polls” that say Democrats would pick senate sits in TX, KS and AK are not operating in the rhelm of reality. Democrats would for sure probably take the house but I don’t see a majority that has anything beyond a 10 seat margin.
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