Agent of SHIELD

Notice to all Agents: We will be drug testing tomorrow morning.

Agents attending the movies: Be alert, know your exits, and don't be afraid to speak up to theater staff if you see something. Stay safe.

Project Insight has been reactivated. We switched out Zola's algorithm for one that targets anyone who spoils Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Concerning the blue light over Southern California: we have it under control. Please carry on.

While you relax and watch football, just remember for every stadium there are about 50 SHIELD Agents working security

Who let the dogs out? That's classified.

We'd like to remind all Agents that telling someone the answer to their question is Classified is indeed the truth

Dale Cooper would have made one hell of a SHIELD Agent

Welcome to the SHIELD watch list. #Disrespectful “@AgentGalaga: http://t.co/5nzt8tTuEg”

We tweet because we care. #AvengersAssemble

And that will conclude SHIELD's Stress Test of the Internet. Thank you for your cooperation. #TheDress

This man assigned me to oversee all SoCal operations, and I intend to do exactly that #ithastocarryweight #SHIELDlife

SHIELD is currently streaming #TheInterview to anyone who has access to our secure servers because we don't like bullies. Enjoy.

At this time I am not at liberty to say anything about any possible connections between SHIELD and the North Korea Internet outages.

#ScaryStoriesIn5Words "You Don't Have The Clearance"

"Sorry, it's classified" #MyLoveLifeIn3Words

To whoever requested that our safe houses have pumpkin spiced coffee available for the fall season: We're a spy organization, not Starbucks

A good SHIELD Agent never loses their ability to "literally even"

Think of your most memorable sporting event where your team lost. And they shouldn't have. That what watching The Winter Soldier is for me.