Juliet Tosan

If you don't provide for your wife and children as you should as a husband and father. Your wife is more likely to cheat on you, unlike a wife that is being provided for. If she doesn't cheat on you in marriage, she's more likely to leave the marriage so she can be with other men without guilt. Except she's working and shouldering your responsibilities for you. That also, brings another level of disrespect. As a man, you will have to choose to either stomach the disrespect or she makes a decision to leave you. If she's kind enough, she would leave with the children. If she's not, she would abandon the children with you and go about her daily life. I know that there are exceptions to these issues. But like I always say: do not pray to be the exception, because that exception may not be you. And I am not saying that you should go and steal to be able to meet up with your responsibilities as a man. That in itself, is another failure on your path. So you young men must learn this. You're not women. You have a dick and you're supposed to be the head of your family. Especially those of you in your 20s. You either sit up now, and learn that as a man, women are more loyal to their feelings, than your sacrifices. If you're waiting for a woman to pity you or love you, you're on your own ooo. The moment you sign up to become a husband and a father, you have decided to take up the responsibilities of being one. The earlier you do this, the better for you. If you like, be looking for pity. Your fellow men won't even pity you for too long. It's all on you. End.

With the mindset of many Gen Z men, I hope some of you will not divorce your future wives if they lose their jobs. I have said it many times: before you get married, have the 'I can do it alone' mindset. Do not decide to marry a woman mainly because she earns her own money. Remove your eyes from her money and plan your future with her with your own money. A woman's money is not sweet to taste. A woman doesn't have to work to make money, before she qualifies to be a wife and mother. If you're not ready to start thinking this way, please avoid marriage. The fact that women get up to 4 months maternity leave (in some countries, more), should tell you that a woman's place of recognition and strength is mostly from being a mother, a home maker, a nurturer and a wife. See her money as a bonus, or rather, an additional privilege to you. Not your right. Not your entitlement. Not your inheritance. Not your dependable source, but your reliable source. A wife that is playing her roles effectively and efficiently, is not a liability. I don't care what any of you wokist or "in saner" climes pundits want to say about this. This is Africa. And Africa remains the true foundation of family values. We educate women so that our society can be educated. We raise women so that we can have families, responsible children and a home. You cannot call your wife and mother of your children a liability, when you are hardly home, and she's there holding things down in your absence. That's an asset. You young men must start to recalibrate your mindsets and avoid severe depression or consequences in the future in your marriage. A woman will aways remain a woman. End.

Everyone would love to be rich, but not everyone would be rich. For me, as a father and husband, once I am able to put food on the table for my family, provide shelter above their heads, and pay their bills, I feel fulfilled. I am satisfied and grateful to God. No matter how much you have, you won't take a penny to the grave. I have programmed my mindset in such a way as to not envy people's legitimate wealth or success in a bad way. What I pray against every day is that I don't want to have to beg to feed myself and my family. And I want to be in the position of more of a helper than being helped.. You don't need to be rich to achieve this. As long as not all fingers are equal, there will always be people who are better, richer, and more successful than you. And there will be those whom you're better than. Just remember something throughout your life's journey: do not burn bridges and do not betray people's trust. Trees cannot survive for too long if all the branches are cut. End.