Minnesota, USA
Joined April 2016
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Like...I legitimately cannot think of a single problem in my life that couldn't be fixed with money. Some would just require more money than others.
There is a widely-accepted (among people who believe in such things, anyway) piece of 9/11 conspiracy lore that still gets repeated as "fact" today...that I completely made up over 20 years ago while trolling the LetsRoll911 forums as a bored teenager.
I'm sorry what
Necropants are a pair of pants made from the skin of a dead human, which are believed in Icelandic witchcraft to be capable of producing an endless supply of money.
To begin with the sorcerer has to make a pact with a living man and get his permission to dig up his dead body and skin it from the waist down. The skin must be completely intact with no holes or scratches.
The sorcerer then steps into the skin which will immediately become one with his own. A coin must be stolen from a poor widow, either at Christmas, Easter, or Whitsunday, and kept in the scrotum.
It will then draw money from living persons and the scrotum will never be empty when the sorcerer checks. However, his spiritual well being is at risk unless he gets rid of the necropants before he dies.
If he dies with the pants on his body will become infested with lice as soon as he passes away. The sorcerer must therefore find somebody that is willing to take the pants and put his leg into the right leg before the sorcerer steps out of the left one. The pants will keep on drawing money for generations of owners.
Apparently the big thing right now is having strong feelings about Steely Dan.
I must admit, I do not have any strong feelings about Steely Dan. 😬
(Except the electric sitar solo in Do It Again, that shit slaps)
Update: Apparently this is standard practice for them now? Wasn't that way last time I used the app. Call me crazy, but I'm used to paying for medical care after I actually receive it lmfao
When I'm awake, all I want to do is sleep. When I sleep, I dream about people I love dying. I have nothing of value to offer romantically, platonically, or professionally. The world is going to absolute shit, and my daughter has to grow up in it.
I read the news about Uvalde while at the park with my family today. When I looked up from my phone, my four-year-old daughter was riding her bike, and a U.S. flag was blowing in the distance.
I've never felt as empty as I did in that moment.
A certain payroll company with a 3-letter name somehow calculated taxes for my entire workplace's previous pay period as if our wages were double what they actually are. Everybody's checks were HUNDREDS of dollars short. 1/
There are exactly 2 uses for the laugh react:
1. "I legitimately find this hilarious! Thank you for bringing a bit of joy to my day."
2. "I'm not sure what's worse, that you're such an irrevocable dumbass, or that you're so willing to publicize it."
Not sure which I use more.
I-
Police are searching for who was behind the wheel of this red Nissan that was found upside down this morning on top of two parked cars in south Minneapolis. | cbsloc.al/3quYu9N
