Sir Jim Ratcliffe...parody

It is a sad reflection of modern football that the man who cares most about Manchester United, who will loyally, diligently again go into Carrington today to try and tackle the mess, is the one being eased out by those gathering in Monaco and via a link to Florida who don’t truly have United in their heart. Those who are primarily responsible for the mess. Michael Carrick will leave the club sooner or later but the club will never leave him. United mean too much to him. He gave everything for the team in 464 games. His son plays for their academy. Being United head coach is not simply a job for Carrick, it's an honour he feels deeply proud of. The manager who last season masterminded home wins over Manchester City, Aston Villa and Liverpool and away triumphs at Arsenal, Chelsea and Brighton has undoubtedly made mistakes this season. Diogo Dalot at left-back, not bringing Shea Lacey on earlier, etc. The poor run, and tumble into the relegation positions, inevitably means his job is on the line. It is possible to understand why Carrick should lose his job but also why others should be held accountable, too. The decision on Carrick would be more palatable if it weren’t being formulated and then executed by Omar Berrada, Jason Wilcox, Sir Jim Ratcliffe and the loathed Glazers. What good have they done to this great club? Debts and decline, holes in the roof and in the squad. Carrick’s contribution to the history of Manchester United is substantial and his legacy secure – winning five titles and taking responsibility for a penalty in the 2008 shootout that helped win the Champions League. At the very least, Carrick deserves to be treated with far more respect than is currently being shown to a dignified, hard-working individual as the clock ticks down on his departure. His exit is being handled appallingly by the club. Red man walking. At least United fans are showing all the class their board lacks. The Stretford End sings Carrick’s name because they know he is not the real problem. It will be no surprise in weeks to come to spot Carrick standing, hood up, with United fans at an away game. They will welcome him warmly. He’s done it before, being a fan again. Carrick loves the club. He has ever since he was an apprentice at West Ham United, charged with keeping the away dressing-room tidy, and admiring how Alex Ferguson and his smartly-dressed collection of winners strode into the Boleyn Ground. They had an aura, and Carrick wanted to be part of that. Carrick will leave the club physically, dismissed as much for the failings of underperforming players, those incompetents in charge of recruitment and the unpopular owners, as for his own undoubted mistakes. But Carrick will never leave United emotionally. It's sad that someone who cares so much will go, and those who don't care as much remain. #MUFC

We all know what your business model is. You profit from United being poor. Not all YouTuber’s are like this, and the ownership is quite obviously the major issue, but don’t pretend something isn’t what it is. Your toxicity is good for your pocket, bad for the football club. Simple as.

🚨 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐍! Sources close to Mauricio Pochettino say he will take Marcus Rashford under his WING as he aims to revive career at United, along with likes of Kobbie Mainoo. “Mauricio has always loved Rashford. He will put an arm around him and give him that same kind of love he showed to Dele Alli [at Spurs]. Then it’s up to Rashford”, a source said. #MUFC [@Matt_Law_DT]