Fade to Gary

🎵 come on everyone hands up punching the air 🎵 You got blood on your face, you big disgrace Kicking in chairs and knocking down tables In a restaurant in a West End town Call the police, there's a mad man around 🎵🎵 Hang on . . . something went wrong there

🎵 quick to the point to the point no fakin' Cooking MC's like a pound of Bacon Birmingham 🎵

Farage is looking more irrelevant by the day I would like to know what he was doing today that was more important than being in Parliament holding the Chancellor to account.

As a short, slightly fat, 54 year old Man my 'who do you think you are' dance .. expressive, frivolous, delicate and feminine is actually remarkably similar, in fact almost identical to my 'theme tune to Grand Designs dance'

I was in North Suffolk and i'm now in South Norfolk In case you needed to know

Look it's perfectly simple you bloody luddites we have to build a new Data Centre the size of Dunfermline so I can continue to watch videos of Cats making a Soufflé

How many buxes is the truk currying ?

This has gladdened my heart on a dull, wet day

Roast Chicken dinner coming out the oven in 9 minutes gang

Perhaps the most fascinating thing about Ai is that it strengthens the need for Universal Basic Income or at the very least forces us to consider it and discuss it.

Off you fuck then

I'd like to turn the clock back to 2012, stand underneath Boris Johnson stuck on the zip wire and reason with him with a megaphone. I would tell him I will only let him down if he promises never to run for Prime Minister or get involved with any Brexit campaigns

Highlights of the day include putting a screen protector on my iPad with no bubbles, cooking a nice meal, having some nice Whiskey and falling asleep with the Cat on me. God this Weather is shite though Working all day tomorrow 😕

This is the best news i've seen all day

Status update : I've got a terrible sore throat and a hankie with 3 holes in it

Oh I can't believe you two did this too I did this too did anyone else do this too ?

And the award for stupidest Tweet of the day goes to ...

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Never owned a Garlic Grater before Bought a Garlic Grater Garlic Grater works well

Cracking tune