SiuMoi

This was the radiation on my flight. If I were standing outside a nuclear power plant the radiation would probably be around 0.05µSv/h. I'm never flying again.

To reject love for fear of suffering is like rejecting life for fear of dying.

You can't possibly "vet" your way out of the normal problems of marriage, but you're not supposed to. Even when you're exceptional at spouse selection, marriage still requires growth, adjustment, conflict, accommodation, repair, patience and becoming better spouses for each other over time. What people get wrong is treating selection and growth as if they're mutually exclusive. Part of what you're selecting for is demonstrated capacity (not to be confused with theoretical potential). Are they showing you they can grow? Adapt? Take influence? Stay engaged when things get difficult? Repair after conflict? Change behavior instead of just apologizing? Remain loyal and dependable under pressure? Those capacities don't need to be fully developed before marriage. But you need enough evidence to know that they're actively present. And not to alarm you, but "we're both imperfect and can grow" can be a convenient way to ignore meaningful differences between people. Granted, some problems are developmental, and you work through them and become better together. Others reveal limitations in character, capacity or compatibility, and more effort isn't going to magically solve those. Two things are true at once: 1) Being willing to grow doesn't automatically make two people a good match for marriage. 2) Good spouse selection isn't about finding someone so flawless that marriage won't require work. One of the main goals of spouse selection work is to get better at telling the difference between the problems you can realistically grow through together and the ones that are telling you something more fundamental about the match.