Tim Lockette

Election Day news is boring until polls close, so I’ll spend my day watching conservatives admit that they were on the side of the Sith all along.

Tell us more about God’s penis.

What a moron. He’s saying he’s losing because voters have moved to Alabama from blue states, where they have public school. Absolute moron.

Million dollar idea: cute open world game for kids called Grand Theft Otter.

This because I said Alabamians should debate Tuberville’s residency issues.

Proud to be Alabamian, proud to be unusual. Like Sun Ra, Juliette Hampton Morgan or Birmingham Batman.

The level of “leftists can’t be from Alabama” is just crazy.

Some people love AI, but I prefer the old-school solution: poisoning Mozart slowly.

Gotta love it.

This is how Alabama’s conservative media acknowledges that a) Trump has driven gas prices up 76 percent and b) Democrat Doug Jones wants to give you a tax break.

I assume the Swedish Bikini Team are all Lutheran…

Next to Gomez and Morticia, I think Baby Billy and Aint Tifny are my favorite TV couple.

This was literally on my TV the first time I saw this tweet. A lie is a lie, even if you own an entire social media enterprise.

Is “BRICS News” the legacy media? Do you ever actually peruse the legacy media? This was on my TV at the exact time I saw your tweet:

We would have been better off with Francis from Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure.

Turning 55 in coming days. Eager to get to 60. Every age category gives you less competition in 5Ks and half-marathons. Really tired of getting smoked by Sally O’Malley.

Ah, here we go. “America, you get too many days off.” We need one of these an hour until the midterm polls close.