The Tesla Roadster could do a sub-6-minute lap of the Nürburgring Nordschleife: at least 30 seconds faster than the AMG One's record of 6:29. My model puts it at 5:41, likely between 5:36 and 5:58. How I got there: • Optimal-control lap simulation: a two-track car model (four tyres, load transfer, yaw) that chooses line, steering, throttle and braking for the fastest lap. • Road: the 20.8 km Nordschleife rebuilt from open data, with elevation, crests and compressions. Widths checked against laser-scan data. • Calibration: three record laps on the same road, compared with onboard speed traces. Taycan Turbo GT (same Pirelli Trofeo RS tyres as the Roadster) within 0.1 s, Model S Plaid within 0.5 s, SU7 Ultra 6.6 s fast (its power fades late in the lap). • The tyre grip and the tyre heating are fitted to the Taycan's record lap and then used unchanged on the Roadster. In the video the Roadster model runs against the SU7 Ultra's real record lap (speed from its onboard): the same Trofeo RS tyres, a lap time close to the Taycan's (7:05 vs 7:08), and an onboard I could take the speed from. Roadster assumptions: • Performance version, no thrusters, about 1,775 kg with driver, about 1 MW, 210 mph limit. • Fans up to 1 g of suction (about 1,700 kg), throttled where the tyres are already fully loaded. • Launch tyres allowed up to 1.5 times their rated load. Tread temperature tracked along the lap, with grip loss above 110 °C. Where the time comes from: slow and medium corners. The fans add grip at speeds where a wing does almost nothing. On the straights it's just another fast EV. What moves the number: • Skirts keeping only 70 % of the suction over the bumps: 5:48. Only 50 %: 5:58. • Power fading late in the lap, as the SU7's does: +3 to 4 s. • Tyres held to their rated load: 6:18, still under the AMG One. Known limit: real drivers lift in a few fast blind sections; the model doesn't.