@TakeThatNurses

Left of liberal. Supporter of neither party. Maybe let’s stop killing people for profit, idk.

Joined October 2019
  • Tweets78K
  • Following8.2K
  • Followers16.4K
10.3KMedia
Gonna start a company where people pay me $400/month for access to pizza, and when they want pizza they can call me for preauthorization and I’ll tell them where they can go, how much they can buy, and what kind they can get. My company will pay for 50% after the first $250 spent
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Siblings 🧡🩶
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Roast chicken pose
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I’ve done it. I’ve found the dumbest, shittiest take ever on Twitter
Rebecca V. Proud American 🇺🇸
@AntiCommieBeccaOct 9
Replying to @AndrewesFish
I think the thing that destroyed Native Americans was alcohol. They have the highest alcoholism rate in the world. And I think it’s the primary reason they can’t get back on their feet. It really is tragic.😔
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This tweet reminds me of the time I took my wife to Cheesecake Factory for our 20th wedding anniversary and I got juice from the fried mac & cheese balls all over my cummerbund
Evan Barker
@evanwchOct 24
Does Obama not understand that to most Americans the Cheesecake Factory is a very nice and fancy restaurant?
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Innocent Instrumentality doctrine
unusual_whales
@unusual_whalesOct 26
BREAKING: Anthropic's Claude bypassed a paywall to access Georgia voter data without authorization, per Axios
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Big chain pharmacy: 60 minutes to get through 4 people ahead of you in line Community pharmacy: “Oh hey, we saw you pull in, so we’ve got your meds here on the counter. And do you want to adopt this stray kitten we’ve been feeding on our sidewalk?”
Dirt Cheap Banks
@dirtcheapbanksOct 26
Big bank: "Your call is important to us. Estimated wait time: 52 minutes." Community bank: "Hey it's Marge. Your truck payment bounced. I moved $40 over from savings. You owe me a pie."
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My kids are both in their 20’s. My son made a “cock and balls” joke to my daughter, and now I find myself trying to explain that 1990’s Adam Sandler was VERY different than “Blended” Adam Sandler
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Bout to french some onion soup
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We seem to have rapidly developed a bit of a cat addiction. These are two more strays we rescued from the street. Spent $520 getting them both checked and vaccinated at the vet. We need to place them soon though or my wife is going to insist on keeping them too
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EINS ZWEI HÜT HÜT HEIK
Atlanta Falcons
@AtlantaFalconsOct 21
New PFP 👀
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OH MY GOD IT FINALLY HAPPENED
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This is just a map of things that are good
Terrible Maps
@TerribleMapsOct 20
Each state's most overrated thing
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Two stacks of cookies, and there are THIRTEEN cookies per package? What psychopath made this decision, @Publix ??
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People, I know what a baker’s dozen is. I’d rather have two equal stacks than one extra cookie in one stack 😑
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Or one too few cookies in one stack
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💥 Nurse D, RN/1L retweeted
Kimari Robinson@krobinson7__Oct 19
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Apparently I (a male) am a whore who has never watched a footgame in my life
justaguy@bigbenskinsguyOct 19
Replying to @TakeThatNurses
U have never watch a footgame in your life, miserable whore. Go away and clout chase elsewhere
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Maybe if you’re that intolerant of being pushed gently out of the way, football might not be the right choice of sport for you
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Taquito update: still handsome
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Law school is responsible for the writing of some of the most bizarre sentences the english language has ever seen
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