I asked an economist how money is created. He said it's complicated. I asked a counterfeiter. He was much more helpful.

I recently read that Japan has a conviction rate of over 99% for criminal cases that go to trial. Prosecutors are very selective about which cases they pursue. That’s a crazy statistic.

Pretending to recognize someone can get you out of a lot of dumb conversations.

At this very moment, there are at least two people on 𝕏 arguing about something neither of them understands.

The strongest relationships are built on trust, communication, and knowing when to stop talking.

Fun fact: The late fashion designer Kate Spade was comedian and actor David Spade’s sister-in-law.

If you’ve already had a birthday this year, happy belated birthday. Sorry I missed it.

I just watched a couple of old horror movies. The real villain in 80s horror movies was the automotive industry. Nobody could ever get their car to start when the killer showed up.

Now that we have flying cars, I think it’s time we get those pigs airborne.

My local bookstore has a maps section. I want to know who buys these and why.

I’m going to start a nonprofit sailing around the Greek Islands looking for rich people lost at sea. All we need to get started is a small luxury yacht and a few fishing poles. Your donations could save lives.

I've never met a suspicious person who thought they looked suspicious.

I bet a lot of motivational speakers gave up and got regular jobs.

Unusual story: In 1981, Johnny Cash was nearly killed by his pet ostrich, Waldo. The bird attacked him causing serious abdomen injuries and breaking five ribs. He credited his heavy belt buckle with saving his life.

The one thing UFOs and Bigfoot have in common is that they're both blurry.

Lake Hillier in Australia looks wild. The water is extremely salty and naturally pink due to algae and bacteria that give it its unusual color.

This Smashing Pumpkins video captures another time, before cell phones and social media. Pure nostalgia.

I have something funny to tell you tomorrow.