@TheAlanShane

comedian ~ writer - co-host of @cbcbakingshow • @22_minutes • second city alum • 4.91⭐️ Uber Rating

 Thornhill, ON ✈️ Toronto, ON
linktr.ee/alanshanelewis
Joined January 2009
  • Tweets78.5K
  • Following2.2K
  • Followers3.6K
7.8KMedia
Aesop Rocky retweeted
Waiting to Oxtail
@ThatDudeMCFLY1h
Count your days Doug.
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My family arguing about putting on a movie for hours only for everyone to fall asleep in the first 10 minutes
MAGIKARP🦈💦
@UniteVids21h
Staying up late with friends, but everyone’s over 30:
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This year for Halloween, all my exes are going as women in healthy new relationships and I’m going as guy in sweatpants
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As a certified palaeontologist this shits hot
ؘ@bornmoeOct 26
when all 3 of my friends laugh at my joke
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NewsWire
@NewsWire_US19h
China’s AI Bubble Has Already Burst, Wiping Out $480 Billion in Market Value — Reuters
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Anyone else watch Black jeopardy? I’m switching 1 for 2 but I agree to this
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What a way to find out millions of men died today
Pop Base
@PopBase5h
Noah Wyle has been named People’s Sexiest Man Alive of 2026.
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Fuck yea Elmo
erin🪩@wallowsgarden16h
elmo doing an impression of lorne michaels is actually killing me so bad bc why is it good
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They say if you do cocaine in your dreams you start a business with your friends in real life ☠️
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Golden state fans don’t deserve this
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Claude copying Elvis copying black ppl
Michael Balazo@mbalazoOct 26
I’m nervous that Claude will become addicted to prescription drugs and pass away on the toilet!!!
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They’re so unseriously serious
Nature Unedited
@NatureUneditedOct 25
Beavers stop chewing every few seconds to listen for cracking sounds in the tree so they don't get crushed
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So happy he was freed outta charlotte
NBA on ESPN
@ESPNNBA15h
This looks like 2K IRL 🎮 Every regular LaMelo play looks like a highlight 🔥
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Crazy that that hairline is younger than me
Fabrizio Romano
@FabrizioRomano17h
🌕✨Harry Kane. The 2026 Ballon d’Or. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿
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A news story referenced my birth year and then followed it up with “nearly 40 yrs” and it’s like ok calm down liberal media
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DO A FULL EPISODE WITH THEM YOU COWARDS
Sesame Street
@sesamestreet21h
We’re not sure the new Saturday Night Live writers will be able to make it to showtime! 😴
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I liked him better as the News Radio guy
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“Fine…if it’ll end horror”
Simpsons Daily Glavins 🎃@simpsons_DG22h
"Don't you ever get tired of being wrong all the time?" "Sometimes..."
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My aunties find me charming what the fuck is wrong with you, you buster ?!
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3 sinister words that ruined social media “DM 4 Promo”
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