JD Tattersall

Do you like hard core sex and ultra violence? If the answer is yes, then never mind, buy my book of poems anyway. amazon.co.uk/Time-Destroys-E… – at Stockport, England

Birthday announcement! 4th of November again. Your favourite person’s birthday. The parade of celebration starts at 9am and continues until 9pm. Presents may be left at the gatehouse to the Tattersall compound. Anything deemed shit will be crushed then given to a poor person.

The Brute outside the compound. Trying to fool the baboons with his many disguises.

I know we are in terrible times. I understand, I really do. And it must be so much worse for you because you will have realised by now, that you aren’t and you will never be me. Prayers and thoughts to you in these difficult times.

Judy has put her pumpkins away for another year. Her Christmas puddings will be on display soon.

I hope you’ve all practiced your “But I didn’t order Greek yogurt” face in the mirror this morning. Because that day is coming my friends! Oh yes! It’s coming!

Cheese waffles! I think not. I didn’t die in two world wars to have to put up with that kind of food in mouth nonsense! Sort yourself out Brussels! Mike drop! 📉

Just thought I would treat you to some of my spectacular photography. You are very welcome.

I’ve just started watching this show. Columbo. Don’t know why it ran for so long. Jesus, it’s so piss easy to work out who the killer is. The writers should be ashamed of themselves!

I’m not dead.

Yellow wind warning. The world would be much more fun if the wind came in different colours.

What is your 2nd favourite orifice?

Good night everybody.

You look at one apothecary cabinet on Temu and then the algorithm thinks you want to look at hundreds.

Contestant: “I’ll like to solve the puzzle please ‘Stick it up your ass, you motherfucker!’” Host: That’s incorrect and I’d just like to remind contestants that the clue is, it’s a Nursery Rhyme”

What’s the smallest thing you’ve ever punched?

Does Superman pull his punches? He could take a guy’s head clean off. What does Superman see when he’s firing lasers out of his eyes? How can he see where he’s shooting when it’s all red beams in front of his eyes?

Up yours brain! 🧠 Quiz of the Day - Oct 14 🟩 🟩 🟩 🟩 🟩 🟩 🟩 🟩 ⬜ 🟩 Score: 9/10 Think you can do better? quizoftheday.co.uk

Halloween question: Do you believe in goats?

Halloween Movie Ideas… Dracula Vs The Devil Dracula Vs A Bloody Big Gorilla Frankenstein’s Monster Wants To Twat You One The Mummy and Daddy! Huge Blood Sucking Worms from Planet Hell The Wolfman of Morecambe Dracula & Mrs Dracula’s Honeymoon Spiders! Spiders! Frog! Bridlington!