The REAL Santa Claus (@TheSantaClaws) profile picture

The REAL Santa Claus

@TheSantaClaws

Lover of Wine, Women and Felching. Hate Children and Do-Gooders. Merry Christmas, Ho Ho Ho...Bollocks

 Lap Dance Land
santas12days.com
Joined November 2010
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Photo by The REAL Santa Claus (@TheSantaClaws)Photo by The REAL Santa Claus (@TheSantaClaws)
. subcontracted it to a chinese bunch…now sod off…i’m sleeping
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I’ve emptied my Sack repeatedly!
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Ho Ho Ho. Just recorded my message with @kyleswager for tomorrows @BritishTech News Show. Not been the best year. Made a couple of poor tech choices and going to have to deliver it all my bloody self. Shit!
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Well thats fucked up my present for him this year…Bollocks! Will need to think of something else. Is Milania releasing an expose you think? nitter.gq/DPRK_News/status/95034…
DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) profile pictureDPRK News Service
@DPRK_News8 Jan 2018
Image from DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News)
If your waking up to far less presents than your wife this morning, thats becuase shes been more naughty with me this year than you can ever image. Ive slipped a LOT more in her stockings
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When you’ve got lots to do, never underestimate A. Leaving yourself enough time & B. Class C Prescription Drugs!
All done for Christmas? I know I am. None of you fuckers are getting anything. Checked my list and you’re all bastards!
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WTF! All these years of service and I’m reduced to ‘I’m a Celebrity X Factor bleeding Santa, vote me out of here’ Bollocks. Typical. Bloody Typical nitter.gq/BritishTech/status/941…
British Tech Network (@BritishTech) profile pictureBritish Tech Network@BritishTech14 Dec 2017
URGENT: Should Santa Stay or Go…You decide - britishtechnetwork.com/blog/… Pls RT and Vote
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The bastards!!! Then again Im not entirely sure. I did a lot of things that night and not all strictly legal. Certainly not in America anyway nitter.gq/EwenRankin/status/9405…
Ewen Rankin (@EwenRankin) profile pictureEwen Rankin@EwenRankin12 Dec 2017
Wondering if @TheSantaClaws knows he’s endorsing this beer?
Image from Ewen Rankin (@EwenRankin)
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And why it burned so well in 1851. Blimey thats compressed nitter.gq/SFGate/status/93566172…
SFGATE (@SFGate) profile pictureSFGATE
@SFGate29 Nov 2017
Historic maps give a glimpse of the old Bay Area dlvr.it/Q3Mg4B
Image from SFGATE (@SFGate)
Playing some Strip Cricket tomorrow with ‘Friends’ If your young and beautiful and fancy facing a couple of balls, get in touch!
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. @IanLPhotography spoken like a little boy wih no presents this year
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Boris - Nice (owes me £350m per week) Farage - Naughty and hung like a donkey (teeth like one too) Esther Ranson - utter hottie!
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Donald Trump - Naughty Kim Jong Un - Nice (subject to the above) Theresa Foxy Girl May - Naughty (Oh yes) Michael Gove - Naughty
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Whatup MoFos. Hanging with my bros in Basingstoke tonight innit. I be taking some lines and passing de pipe. Be cool & selfies be cool innit
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You didnt think id forgotten all you window lickers did you? Ill be back on Friday wih crap for christmas
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The REAL Santa Claus retweeted
KnishsTaxi (@KnishsTaxi) profile picture
KnishsTaxi@KnishsTaxi24 Aug 2017
Replying to @TheSantaClaws
@TheSantaClaws Start your preparations. nitter.gq/christmas_clock/status…
Your Christmas Countdown (@christmas_clock) profile pictureYour Christmas Countdown
@christmas_clock24 Aug 2017
EXACTLY 4 MONTHS UNTIL #CHRISTMAS EVE! 🎄🎅 Live Countdown 👉 🕒 YourChristmasCountdown.com
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Replying to @PrincessBagel
. @PrincessBagel well be a good girl and I’ll come around and put something in your stocking
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Has anyone found my glasses? If you were a very good girl last year then they may be on your bedside table. DM for mailing address
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Fuck Off! Still sleeping
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