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TimLyons

@TimLyons

Follow me on Facebook, I tweet a lot of funny videos. Listen to Improv is Dead!

 Chicago, IL
wlo.link/@timlyons
Joined July 2008
  • Tweets4.3K
  • Following934
  • Followers2.6K
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Photo by TimLyons (@TimLyons)Photo by TimLyons (@TimLyons)Photo by TimLyons (@TimLyons)Photo by TimLyons (@TimLyons)Photo by TimLyons (@TimLyons)Photo by TimLyons (@TimLyons)Photo by TimLyons (@TimLyons)Photo by TimLyons (@TimLyons)Photo by TimLyons (@TimLyons)Photo by TimLyons (@TimLyons)
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TikTok is censoring this video because of sword play. Also because my shirt is open. Let’s show them that swords won’t be censored.
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Trying out stand up for the first time
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Seeing things clearly now.
Image from Dan White (@atdanwhite)
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*Me using a vacuum my mom has had and used her entire life* My mom: oh my god what is that noise!?
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Not sure if gingers have souls but I know that if we kill someone in a dream they die in real life.
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All my cousins banging on the bathroom door 40 minutes after dinner, shit filling up their pants. My legs are asleep, my ass cheeks are red and I'm 30 minutes into a perfect Balatro run on my phone. I can't stop now. I won't stop now.
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This one’s for all the spooky girlies this spooky season based on the spooky witches getting down in the 2015 spooky movie The Witch.
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Sucks that I can wake up from a beautiful, tragic, life changing dream knowing that it’s meaningless and only happened because I ate red sauce the night before.
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Replying to @atdanwhite
To know they are locked is to try and unlock them.
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Wouldn’t let this pervert sleep anywhere near my dog.
Dan White (@atdanwhite) profile pictureDan White@atdanwhite2 Oct 2024
Travel hack: Rather than pay full price for a hotel room, I book a night at a “dog hotel” intended for short-term boarding (40-50% price of human hotels). Then when I show up I pretend to be confused/angry. After enough pleading they usually let me sleep in one of the kennels.
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The music video for my new song "anything you want" is out today! directed by @conortheconor, DP by daniel clark & edited by anthony tocchio feat. @kstud @joekjoek @joemcadam @2tonbug @eyyitslisa & more :)
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Chicago! Doing 2 live shows on Thursday! 7:30pm | @iochicago 10pm | Logan Square Improv Tix: linktr.ee/improvisdead
Image from Dan White (@atdanwhite)
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Replying to @jonahformayor @ImprovIsDead @iochicago @atdanwhite
This is super similar but I get that.
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Replying to @jonahformayor @ImprovIsDead @iochicago @atdanwhite
We were consistently letting down chocolate fans.
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Hey CHICAGO! We're doing some unplugged and perved out live shows Oct. 3rd @iochicago at 7:30 pm and then at 10 pm Logan Square Improv! Grab a tickets for either show here linktr.ee/improvisdead
Image from Improv is Dead (@ImprovIsDead)
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Replying to @IAmEcw
Appreciate this very much! Thanks buddy!
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I love this show! Can’t wait for everyone to see it in November 🚑
NBC Entertainment (@nbc) profile pictureNBC Entertainment
@nbc7 Aug 2024
The best hospital in-network. 🩺 NBC’s #StDenisMedical premieres November 12, and streaming on @peacock. nitter.gq/nbc/status/18212451347…
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Anyone else accidentally spelling it "HOTTOTO" when singing it out loud?
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I spent $96 on Hinge roses last week and sent them all within 5 min. So far haven’t heard back from anyone but I know this is what it takes. As soon as I get paid this week, I’m excited up the ante to $200 and put myself out there once again! I’m destined to be deleted!!!
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Normalize partying at Downtown Disney with your boys.
Image from Dan White (@atdanwhite)
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