they’re using me as a resource

Walgreens employees all have a very specific personality profile

i want a wedding in a dollar general

an acting career is genuinely possible for me

when you low key have a concept of a plan

just decided i’m sending my kid(s) to summer camp

you can still have a 20th century life in 21st century new york

people used to set household regulations for “television hours”

confessing my crush at 98

i ran into my organ donor recently

they’re celebrating me

they’re saying i had a “long and full” life

there is zero reason for a child to grow up in a desert environment

i respond to probably 10% of instagram stories

spongebob is looking for a sublet in crown heights

i have unintentionally developed powerful connections in the broadway theater community

there will be a vaudeville revival in the early 2030s

buying new clothes instead of doing laundry

due to overwhelming public opposition, i will not dress as "Damn Daniel" this halloween