MICHÉLE, M.

I am not sorry that Jeremiah is a monster, and villain. Because this isn’t me. I am not sorry that my feelings and moods have inspired some of the most terrible and horrific solos I have written for him. I don’t think it is possible to understand from which place someone’s inspiration rises. Writing for such dark character doesn’t make us sick, it just makes us creative. I think writing is about taking a small detail or feeling and imagining all that could grow from it. You are not your muse. But your muse is yours. And I’m not sorry for anything I might have written about him? Because, this isn't an autobiography. This is his story.

And happy, hopeful, colourful, depressed, exhausted, excited. Maybe you won’t see it this way, but I deeply believe that everyone here needs this place and muses to speak for all that they cannot. Whether it is for personal reasons, or whether it for reasons we do not always have control on: family, religion, political, economical. We all have great days, and we all have terrible days. I think this just amazing that we have this means of communication. Sometimes writing about the mindset of your muse in a certain way, is more effective in unloading your own than any other ways we could use.

As a wannabe writer, I have tried comprehending who he is this, 1) doesn’t mean the thoughts I’ve imagined he thinks, are mine, 2) doesn’t mean the feelings he feels are those I do, 3) but sometimes it just does. Sometimes, I’m angry, I’m obsessed with my boyfriend. And this translates in more rage. His actions are not mines, they are far more repressible and far more terrible, but they originate from the same place. This doesn’t make me a bad person. This makes me real, and flawed and angry sometimes, and sad too.

This doesn’t mean, however, that your muse isn’t a part of you. Like, I’m not my muse, but I’ve grown with him. It’s only been over a month I have been clinging to Jeremiah and him, to me.

𝗝𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗘 I am sorry I am gonna use this outlet to state something. Instead of a tmi I am gonna tell you that YOU ARE NOT YOUR MUSE? Period.

𝗝𝗔𝗞𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗔 / 𝟭𝟬.𝟮𝟯.𝟮𝟬 fixation /fikˈsāSHən/
noun 1. An obsessive, unhealthy preoccupation with a person, object, or idea. 2. The physical or chemical process of fastening, preserving, or stabilizing something firmly in place.