I don’t follow people because I don’t want to bother anyone, but I’ll follow back if you’re the right kind of weird. ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ Sober. @dumbsassed is my boo.

Grayslake, IL
Joined September 2017
I was able to get out for a walk tonight. It looks like all of the micro Fae are busy building their fuzzy dirigibles to escape before the Ice Queen comes. If you had a seeing glass you could see two fat women in a gondola, smoking pipes and telling filthy jokes in their patois.
13
23
4
202
"You gotta do what Randall Pink Floyd wants to do man. Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N." - David Wooderson
1
7
183
Wordle 1,956 4/6 🟨⬛🟨⬛⬛ ⬛🟨⬛🟨⬛ 🟩🟩⬛🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 I said this word when I solved the puzzle
15
214
Dave’s here. He’s returning the favor and petting me right now. The guy is relentless. Unfortunately, he’s got big ol’ ouchie mittens and I have human skin 🤣 I’ve got to clip his nails, but I’ll do it tomorrow.
2
10
103
Thanks, astrobot. Most people don’t put in the effort to find out.
libra, there's something so lovely about you.
7
114
BOOM 💥 💥 💥 MAGA'S LISTEN UP THIS LADY IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT ❗️❗️❗️☝️💙💙💙🗽🇺🇸 SPOT ON ❗️
60
482
34
1,928
54,924
Check it out! I was going through some boxes in the basement and found my favorite hoodie of all time! I thought this baby was long gone. I bought this when I was in college in the 90s.
10
110
I got to use my new red moka pot today. With my red mug. After toasting a bagel in my red toaster. 🤣 I’m totally going to replace my white kitchenaid mixer with a red one just to keep this going.
2
15
165
We need more photos on this app. Here’s mine…
We need more photos on this app. Here’s mine…
1
1
10
399
☆✨ Rob ✨ ☆ retweeted
34
87
3
298
2,168
☆✨ Rob ✨ ☆ retweeted
4
70
2
1,127
10,261
Good morning, nerds! ☀️ I am monochrome for Monday. And celebrating witches. I’m also celebrating my first day of being a principal research scientist at work again. All around it’s a good fucking Monday. I hope you guys get to celebrate some wins today too! 🫶🏻
2
20
262
☆✨ Rob ✨ ☆ retweeted
Elon, you absolute fucking moron. The Nazis were far-right fascists who destroyed labor unions, persecuted communists and socialists, and murdered political opponents. Hitler literally purged the party’s left wing. Calling Nazis socialists because of their name is like believing North Korea is democratic because it calls itself the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. Imagine being the richest man alive and still being too fucking stupid to understand history at a middle-school level. Money can buy you a platform, Elon. Apparently, it can’t buy you a functioning brain.
Hitler was a far left socialist. Literally in the name of his party!
2,871
1,333
186
7,062
839,982
Wordle 1,955 X/6 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟨⬛🟩⬛🟩 ⬛🟩🟩⬛🟩 ⬛🟩🟩⬛🟩 ⬛🟩🟩⬛🟩 ⬛🟩🟩⬛🟩 fuck you, wordle
4
15
246
Nobody liked my t-shirt today 😢 I guess it didn’t come with the standard message of positivity. Instead it had sage advice on the best way to eradicate a xenomorph infestation. I guess it shouldn’t surprise me. Nobody really wants to deal with that.
2
1
14
418
My daughter is doing homework on the couch until it’s time to catch her train back to school. She says that it’s easier for her to concentrate when SpongeBob is on in the background. So there you have it. Sunday evening SpongeBob.
6
31
509
I got the cashewed chickens
2
1
24
359
I saw we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
9
71
Wordle 1,954 4/6 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ ⬛🟩🟩🟩⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 I made a little pyramid
3
1
17
232
Blood. It’s not a big surprise.
libra, tell them what is in your heart. you don't need to hide the truth.
1
7
141
Now Dave is in his favorite spot. The little spoon.
16
227