Rory retweeted
Whoville celebrating Christmas means there was a Who Jesus and I can’t stop imagining what kind of insane seussical contraption they would have had to crucify people.
Rory retweeted
taylor swift came all the way to lambeau just to watch jordan love outplay patrick mahomes. i prayed for times like these
Rory retweeted
rip dracula u would have loved going down a water slide flat on your back arms crossed over your chest
Rory retweeted
how does anyone get anything done ? i spend most of my time thinking about how in an hour it will be an hour later
Rory retweeted
Pet rent is the stupidest concept I have ever heard of how do you expect my cat to pay $50 a month he is unemployed
Rory retweeted
wow, another wooden ball. would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there.
Rory retweeted
little kids are so dumb. "are we there yet?" yeah man, we're there. our final destination is this random stretch of highway. get it together
Rory retweeted
once i invent a beverage that makes you want to keep living between 3:15 and 4:48 pm it's over for you hoes
I used to think zodiac signs were dumb but then I remembered I play fantasy football. Everyone has a thing.



















